advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
indigo1015
Grand Member
 
indigo1015's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2010
Location: Westminster, CO USA
Posts: 810
13
8 hugs
given
Default Jul 09, 2024 at 11:41 PM
  #1
I think I would feel much better, much less angry all the time, and much more grounded if I found my place. My people. I know this sounds crazy, and maybe it isó maybe Iím totally paranoid and simply want to buy into thisó but I really wonder if my family is my family after all. For one thing, Iím very different from them in that Iím not academic. I am way more auto-didactic than they are. I'm also more open to others' views, backgrounds, etc. I'm way less reserved and way more volatile than they are too. I also have what everyone in my family calls ďexotic eyesĒ ó Iím not offended exactly, but no one else in my family has them. Iím frequently mistaken for being Native American, which I think is flattering, but I can't and won't say I am when I'm not. When I lived in Indy one summer, I went to the Indian Marketó everyone, including the Native Americans, kept asking me what tribe I was. lol. I wasn't offended or anything, but I did feel like there was something about me that needed explaining. I still feel that way. My mom, dad, and sis are brown-haired and brown-eyed like me, but only my maternal grandmother had eyes that were shaped remotely like mine (and she was of Irish, not Native American, descent). My mom vehemently swears that she remembers giving birth to me, but mix-ups do occur in hospitals. I took a dna test, and I'll admit the results do match up with my family's ancestry. But something is still off. I don't feel like I fit in. And the thing is, I feel like that everywhere. I think a lot of my anger stems from that. I just want to find my people and my place. My tribe and my home. I have friends, but I don't see them much, and I worry that if I reach out to them, they'll just ignore me, because they've done it before. It's very depressing. And I worry that I'll never find my place. I'll just drift and wander like I always have. **** it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
indigo1015 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
ArmorPlate108, Discombobulated, FloatThruThis, unaluna

advertisement
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,648 (SuperPoster!)
9
1,285 hugs
given
Default Jul 10, 2024 at 07:44 AM
  #2
Thatís not an easy feeling. I could totally understand it. I can relate in some complicated way, donít want to hijack your thread by explaining

Were you raised in any faith or tradition? Or is there any faith or tradition you might gravitate to and might be interested in adopting? Sometimes thatís the way to feel that everywhere you go, there are other people of your persuasion and just knowing they are there helps to feel more at home even if moved/displaced.
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
indigo1015
Grand Member
 
indigo1015's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2010
Location: Westminster, CO USA
Posts: 810
13
8 hugs
given
Default Jul 10, 2024 at 08:28 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Thatís not an easy feeling. I could totally understand it. I can relate in some complicated way, donít want to hijack your thread by explaining

Were you raised in any faith or tradition? Or is there any faith or tradition you might gravitate to and might be interested in adopting? Sometimes thatís the way to feel that everywhere you go, there are other people of your persuasion and just knowing they are there helps to feel more at home even if moved/displaced.

I was raised in the episcopal churchó not a bad church, but I didnít feel a connection to it. My dad and I had a huge battle over me being confirmed when I was thirteen, until even he realized that he wasnít going to win lol. My religion is pagan (NOT Wiccan, however). I worship my ancestors and the earth as opposed to a god or goddess. Unfortunately, there are not a lot of sites or groups out there for pagans who are not Wiccans, and Wiccans annoy the crap out of me. Many are just as controlling as people in the three major monotheistic religions.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
indigo1015 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,648 (SuperPoster!)
9
1,285 hugs
given
Default Jul 10, 2024 at 12:31 PM
  #4
Would relocating help? Sometimes it does. Small town to large city or vice versa or move states. Moving countries is complicated but sometimes it does the trick.

I grew up surrounded by pagan culture and following some of it due to culture around me (am not a pagan myself). Very familiar with it. Donít know any pagan groups. I think US population looks at pagans unfavorably. Itís way more accepted in Europe
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
indigo1015
indigo1015
Grand Member
 
indigo1015's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2010
Location: Westminster, CO USA
Posts: 810
13
8 hugs
given
Default Jul 10, 2024 at 02:43 PM
  #5
Iíve thought of relocatingó i currently live in the suburbs of Denver, and Iím over it. Iím looking at other locations both in and out of state, but Iíd definitely want to visit before I made a final decision.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
indigo1015 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,648 (SuperPoster!)
9
1,285 hugs
given
Default Jul 10, 2024 at 03:57 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by indigo1015 View Post
Iíve thought of relocatingó i currently live in the suburbs of Denver, and Iím over it. Iím looking at other locations both in and out of state, but Iíd definitely want to visit before I made a final decision.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I am in Midwest. I honestly think my state is great. It has a bit of everything.
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
indigo1015
Grand Member
 
indigo1015's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2010
Location: Westminster, CO USA
Posts: 810
13
8 hugs
given
Default Jul 10, 2024 at 08:01 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
I am in Midwest. I honestly think my state is great. It has a bit of everything.

Iíve liked what Iíve experienced of the Midwest.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
indigo1015 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Embracingtruth
Member
 
Embracingtruth's Avatar
 
Member Since Oct 2022
Location: United States
Posts: 83
1
19 hugs
given
Default Jul 11, 2024 at 08:13 AM
  #8
In my life experience, I find that "my place" is within me. Not connecting with family ( for any variety of reasons) is more common than you think. Between myself and two brothers, we grew up under the same roof, same parents, and had very similar life experiences in those formative years. But we each have very different accountings on what that environment looked like and how it made us feel. Quality of life has so much to do with how you process events in your life and how you allow things to weigh on you. We're all very different people no matter what shared space (or DNA) we might have in common.
Embracingtruth is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
indigo1015
Grand Member
 
indigo1015's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2010
Location: Westminster, CO USA
Posts: 810
13
8 hugs
given
Default Jul 11, 2024 at 09:16 AM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by Embracingtruth View Post
In my life experience, I find that "my place" is within me. Not connecting with family ( for any variety of reasons) is more common than you think. Between myself and two brothers, we grew up under the same roof, same parents, and had very similar life experiences in those formative years. But we each have very different accountings on what that environment looked like and how it made us feel. Quality of life has so much to do with how you process events in your life and how you allow things to weigh on you. We're all very different people no matter what shared space (or DNA) we might have in common.

I can definitely agree with your comment that one needs to look inward to find oneís own truth. That being said, one also needs community. As human beings, we need social interaction and a group in which we feel we have a place. That is what I donít have, and right now, itís what I need. Iíve done the introspection. It is reassuring to hear you say itís more common than I might think to not feel like you being in your biological family, however.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
indigo1015 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Embracingtruth
 
Thanks for this!
Discombobulated
Discombobulated
Grand Magnate
 
Discombobulated's Avatar
 
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 4,926 (SuperPoster!)
4
12k hugs
given
Default Jul 11, 2024 at 10:19 AM
  #10
Iíve found tribes of sorts at different times in my life, I felt it with my running club many years ago, that was shared enjoyment of running, I got a lot of camaraderie from that. But I no longer do that now so lost it.

I have it presently in volunteering, the other volunteers arenít alike but we share the passion for our volunteering and thereís camaraderie there. They arenít close friends but it does feel like community.

So for me itís been shared purpose or passion.

Thatís interesting about your dna and eye shape, itís amazing how dna can seemingly skip generations like this.
Discombobulated is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
indigo1015
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Not sure if I belong here PieceofMe Adult Children of Alcoholics 5 Jul 20, 2016 11:10 AM
I'm not sure if I belong here LucyD OCD and Trichotillomania 11 Jun 04, 2016 11:59 PM
Why are we here and where do we belong? LadyShadow Sanctuary for Spiritual Support 44 Jan 28, 2013 02:24 AM
Where do I belong? akekaomen Depression 8 Oct 02, 2012 01:25 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:17 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.