[Cantholdmyrage]

Specifically, my experiences come from people who say really mean things about me and other people. Here are mine:

“You let them do this to you”

“Don’t even go there”

“You made the choice to talk to those people”

“I’m not expecting you to change, I just want what’s best for you”

“You can’t expect people to change themselves so you can get what you want”

“Why can’t you just not even bother to deal with these people, you’re only going to make situations worse”

“You’re ALWAYS crying, I just want you to be happy”

“Can’t you ever think good thoughts for once?”

“What good does it do to talk to strangers? All they want is to ruin your life, or worse, kill you”

“You don’t want any friends, do you?”

“Why can’t you do an old hobby of yours to get it off your mind?”

“What’s the point in calling them out? They’re never going to change”

“Life is not the la-la land you think it is, you need a good reality check”

“Everyone’s always offended over something these days, why can’t you all just grow thicker skin and get over yourselves?”

No advice needed.

[gothceltgirl]

I had a guy in a pub tell me once, "You chose to feel that way, no one made you feel that way" Grrr! I don't know why it bothered me so much, but it did. I hate when people say things like that. It's very dismissive & hello jackass spoiler alert, some people are more sensitive than others. I feel like on one hand that's a point that a lot of people try to make, but it's a slippery slope, it can invite, incite, & even excuse abusive people b/c after all nothing you do really does anything, you can do whatever you want, treat another person like garbage b/c hey you choose your feelings. I'm sorry but there is something very wrong with that sort of philosophy. Some people just don't have a lot of empathy or compassion.

I also really hate being told to "calm down". That's a sure guarantee that I'm not going to be calm for a good long while afterwards. And being accused of lying when I'm not or really anything I didn't actually do. False accusations really piss me off.

[MuddyBoots]

My dad straight up told me emotions are bad and if you feel them to get high.

[gothceltgirl]

Wow MuddyBoots that sure is one to grow on huh? Geez! I'm sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how that must have informed your ability to feel & express emotions. And did you follow his advice? Did he mean like weed? Or something else?

[MuddyBoots]

I indeed did follow his advice, and struggle doing so to this day. He meant anything that would "help." For him it was alcohol, opioids, and weed. Guess what my drugs of choice are?

I'm still working on figuring out the connection between my physical sensations, thoughts, and emotions. I have pretty intense emotional dysregulation going on, and expressing them appropriately is hard (had a lot of rage that's more controlled now, and I feel like people don't take anything seriously until harm will be/has been done so I make myself get there quickly). Getting better though. Lots of learning and unlearning.