Can Grief Cause Anger? How to Address it?

SquarePegGuy · Aug 23, 2024 at 06:36 PM

About six weeks ago, my wife and I euthanized one of our three cats.

After the injection, his breathing got slower. I remained mindful of my thoughts and feelings. But suddenly I felt a constriction in my chest and throat and had the urge to become a sobbing blubbery mess.

I'm sure there was no thought that triggered this intense feeling. My metaphysical idea is that as his spirit left, he touched me with an impactful outpouring of love.

Ever since then I have been impatient, easily annoyed, quick to anger. I mean as soon I got home, I got fed up with some clutter that's been in my way for months, and I just grabbed it and hurled it out into the trash can.

My therapist confirms that anger can arise from grief. He also suggests to "sit with it" in the manner of a Buddhist. I had been moving away from the trigger and doing breathwork. I've also been harnessing that energy and decluttering or breaking through red tape and obstacles. So I don't consider it all bad.

Tell me what you think about this, please. Were there times when you've experienced this?

Thanks

CANDC · Aug 24, 2024 at 12:08 PM

@SquarePegGuy I am sorry for the loss of your cat. It sounds like it was a difficult to see the cat die.

I have had losses and they are a mixture of emotions and they do not necessarily occur in any order and they can jump around. I had dnial and negotiation of what I could have done differently and sadness and jst an incredible feeling of grief.

I like what your therapist said. I also do ceremonies for departed ones within 49 days to help them gain a favorable rebirth since I believe that this life is only one of many experiences we can have.

But just to focus on yourself, meditation can be very beneficial. I contemplate all the other people that have gone through losses and it helps me realize that loss is natural and so is grief. What is difficult for me with losse is that life is always changing nothing stays the same or is permanent.

What kind of meditation are you trying?

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message]

emily1890 · Aug 24, 2024 at 02:18 PM

I wish I could say something useful

I just hope that you take care of yourself and continue to reach out

Discombobulated · Aug 25, 2024 at 10:06 AM

Yes I’ve experienced it, I’ve just had a frustrating experience trying to fit a very awkward shower strip but it received a lot of the frustration I’ve been feeling regarding recent loss and worry about family members health issues.

I think sometimes we think we’re ‘coping’ but we’re actually damping down our emotions in order to function on a day to day basis if that makes sense.

SquarePegGuy · Aug 25, 2024 at 10:57 AM

@CANDC, I usually do just breath counting or invoke mindfulness of my surroundings.

Thank you for commenting @emily1890 and @Discombobulated!

CANDC · Aug 25, 2024 at 02:01 PM

@SquarePegGuy breathing and mindfulness are great ways to handle things.

I find sometimes anger shows up disguised as irritation or frustration
CANDC

LostOnTheTrail · Aug 26, 2024 at 05:33 AM

Dear Square Peg Guy,

Anger is an integral part of a grieving process in my experience.
I have spent more time than I find comfortable sitting with my own.

I know the temptation to run away from it very well.
I would venture to say that it's healthy to recognise and honour your anger when it arises.

Of course you're hurt - you lost a beloved friend.

I hope a path emerges that you can feel at ease with.

Take care,

Lost

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Can Grief Cause Anger? How to Address it?

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emily1890 Member Member Since Jun 2023 Location: the world Posts: 498 1 55 hugs given	Aug 24, 2024 at 02:18 PM #3 I wish I could say something useful I just hope that you take care of yourself and continue to reach out
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SquarePegGuy Grand Member Member Since Mar 2020 Location: Northeastern USA Posts: 805 4 128 hugs given	Aug 25, 2024 at 10:57 AM #5 @CANDC, I usually do just breath counting or invoke mindfulness of my surroundings. Thank you for commenting @emily1890 and @Discombobulated! __________________ Major Depressive Disorder; Sleep Apnea; possibly on the spectrum Nuvigil 50mg; Effexor 37.5mg Wellbutrin 150mg; meds for blood pressure & cholesterol
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CANDC Super Moderator Community Support Team Community Liaison Chat Leader Member Since May 2014 Location: Northeast USA New England Posts: 17,820 (SuperPoster!) 10 2,351 hugs given	Aug 25, 2024 at 02:01 PM #6 @SquarePegGuy breathing and mindfulness are great ways to handle things. I find sometimes anger shows up disguised as irritation or frustration CANDC __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time"
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