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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,513
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Aug 30, 2024 at 05:35 PM
#1
"I had this ache, and I thought it was for sex, but it's to tear everything to ****ing pieces" (Ginger Snaps)
But really, why do I, or anyone, feel the need to feed energy into destroying myself? It's not like I spend 24/7 intentionally ripping out wires in the airplane, but it's almost like I have half an hour of down time and automatically it's gotta do something unhealthy, sometimes potentially lethal. And I just don't care as long as I (at least believe that I)'m not hurting anyone else. How do I manage that half hour of boredom that leads to idk an hour of self harm or binge drinking or something __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
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 SquarePegGuy
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,945
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Aug 30, 2024 at 05:56 PM
#2
Maybe thats why people say the rosary or stuff like that? Me, i just take a nap. But thats because i think i was sleep deprived pretty much my entire life, even as a child. Or people crochet or quilt. Or garden. I gardened at my mom's for a while then i was like omg this is infinitely boring. So a lot of things dont work for me.
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,513
(SuperPoster!)
4 6,436 hugs
given
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Aug 31, 2024 at 01:55 PM
#3
Crocheting is dull af, I'll do it
__________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
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| unaluna
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Grand Member
Member Since Mar 2020
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 805
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Aug 31, 2024 at 08:48 PM
#4
Quote:
It occurred to me immediately that people with autoimmune disorders destroy themselves on cellular level. And aside from substance abusers there are those choose the cheeseburger instead of broccoli with garlic sauce, or have a sugary treat for dessert. Suppose you could direct your destructiveness to someone or something other than yourself? Do you think you would still ... be self-destructive? Or, where does that energy originate? Are you acting out some self-hatred based on how someone else treated you once? During that half hour, can you redirect that destructive energy into "attacking" clutter or destroying weeds? __________________ Major Depressive Disorder; Sleep Apnea; possibly on the spectrum Nuvigil 50mg; Effexor 37.5mg Wellbutrin 150mg; meds for blood pressure & cholesterol |
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 indigo1015, MuddyBoots
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Grand Member
Member Since Mar 2020
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 805
4 128 hugs
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Aug 31, 2024 at 08:50 PM
#5
Oh I should mention that my little self-destructive habit seems to happen unconsciously. So don't look at me for any answers!
__________________ Major Depressive Disorder; Sleep Apnea; possibly on the spectrum Nuvigil 50mg; Effexor 37.5mg Wellbutrin 150mg; meds for blood pressure & cholesterol |
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,513
(SuperPoster!)
4 6,436 hugs
given
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Sep 01, 2024 at 06:25 PM
#6
Quote:
I've been using a lot of energy to get shyt done, it's just hard to keep myself occupied every waking minute of every waking day and not taking opportunities to self-sabotage in some way when they come up. I wouldn't say having a dessert and similar is "self-destructive" entirely because you're not literally destroying your body unless it's overdone. I think a lot of people will agree there's a big difference between having a bowl of ice cream and a fifth of vodka. My therapist and my IP NP keep saying stuff like I can't handle boredom because I grew up in chaos, and I have to learn to sit with it. Every time I'm discharged from that unit the NP says "keep it boring." I guess I've been practicing this more. Been writing a lot. __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
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| SquarePegGuy, unaluna
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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