I just don't want to be in person with people

I have maintained a lovely lifestyle with just talking to a friend by phone, but she insisted that we go out and do something. So I did. Reluctantly.

What shocked me is that she ran me ragged. She is only 2 years younger but she wanted to redo some chairs and even when we weren't doing that she was outside smoking and I felt like I had to watch her so she didn't do something to bother the neighbors. We went out to eat and then we went to get fabric and by the end of the day I was exhausted.

So admit it, I did not have a good time.

But this morning I woke up with pink eye. At this point I can't tell if it is pink eye but my eye was all crusty and I could hardly see and it is all red bloodshot. I just had an eye exam last weekend so I don't think it is anything else. But it could be some sort of allergic irritation to the work we did with the chairs. She also came from her dad's rehab so she could have picked something up there.

I can't help but be irritated and wish I had never done all that with her.

Is it me or every time I 'go out' with someone they want to do things I don't. She took something home with her so she has to come back and get them.

I feel very much as you do. I seldom want to be in person with people. And if I am with people, I want to know what we are going to do ahead of time. No surprises please. I know it must seem selfish, but I have to prioritize my mental health. Bad things happen when I don't prioritize my mental health. I wish I know what to say to help.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience!

Do you think if there was much less activity you might have enjoyed her company?

Maybe next time you can set a limit on how much you do.

My wife hasn't been diagnosed with Bipolar, but I dread her "up" days. So I encourage her to spend that time with friends.

I am so sorry this happened to you, Natalie. When I read your post, I started suspecting that it was smoke that caused the pink eye. Since you are clearly not used to being in an environment where people smoke around you, this might have been a trigger.

I did not have time to fact-check, and Generative AI has been known to sometimes hallucinate (confabulate) responses, but FWIW, this is what Google's Generative AI had to say when I asked:

Yes, exposure to smoke can cause a type of pink eye called conjunctivitis. This type of pink eye is non-contagious and is caused by irritation to the conjunctiva, the outermost layer of the eye's tissue. Other irritants that can cause conjunctivitis include: Chlorine, Car fumes, Pollen, and Hard contact lenses.

It seems to me that words that end in "itis" are a form of inflammation. As @Tart Cherry Jam's AI friend implied, inflammation can arise from a variety of sources.

Yes I know the feeling. As I age I get more and more annoyed with people who won't tell me what we are doing.

I don't know what happened with my eye but it was better by the end of the next day. Eventually she came back for my birthday and I think we are done because she has family constraints.

None of it was enjoyable for me.

Not to hijack this thread in any way, but OMG I could have written that exact thing about H. Energy and activity are not always indicative of fun and pleasantness, they can be quite the opposite.

OP, that sounds like a long day that didn't serve your social needs.

If you do want to spend time with someone like that, maybe try doing it at a location where you have more control over when the situation ends- have lunch out, meet at a bookstore, etc.

At least you are tuning in to what you can, and will, tolerate. That's a good thing.

Hope that your eye is feeling better.