BPD

black-roses

They say time will heal
Yet the wound still remains
In the end it was too complicated for me
To understand took all this time
And I don't know when my personality started refracting
Relationships I ****ed up with my erratic behaviour
But maybe they were assholes to me
Now I just side step the assholes
Never let them close
It's easy to be caught up in the moment
I thought I'd die for you
Take the overdose for you
In the end I deserved better
I'm going to heaven
The dark thoughts still there
I wish I had done it all differently
But how could I see
Blinded by my weakness
And blinded by me
How could I not see with the personal
Attacks that you were no good for me
And friendships that lie in my wake
Well I just let them lay on the road
And if you ask me how I think
Well there's lots of things to examine
In relationships there's the value system
There's the emotional chemistry
Things that you can't fake
And I just think that if I can be so wrong
And obsess with someone so bad for me
Then how could I ever be right?
So no I don't trust a word they say
I just think there full of ****
In the end there's only me
Only I
I don't need sympathy I need healing
From this lack of empathy
They say sticks will
Hurt you but words
Give psychological
Scars much deeper
And if you ask me I was broken by you
But now I'm stronger
You were just the wrong person at the wrong time
Psychologist told me that 8 years is a long time to be single
But I've been doing me
And I feel like a little bit more complete everyday I pass on this world
And if you know what
The only thing I regret is the time
I didn't love myself
And also if you know what I think
That nobody could love me
With my dark past that's now behind me
I thought I'd never be forgiven
But the only thing I need to forgive myself
For being emotionally affected
By these individuals
Emotional control to ages for me to learn
I know I used to breakdown in the tears in a classroom
And not know why
But now I understand my emotion
Reactions and were they come from
So yeah maybe 8 years is a long time
But fixing the damage in me
Was the most important thing
Or id be still doing that self harming
**** I did as a teenager
Which I have scars to prove of
The pain I felt
But nevermind
Everybody has pain
All in different ways
And I had to forgive myself
For this personality that's a disorder

Labhradha22

I remember you from the last time I was here.

You write very well.

Very creative.

I would definitely trust you.

Can you private message me?