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El-ahrairah
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Default Apr 25, 2010 at 09:11 AM
  #21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miracle1986 View Post
You post reminds me so much of myself. I am always very needy, etc too
Even my husband, I fear, feels more like my care-taker than my companion.
same here with my bf...
I act like a kid without trying or having control...
I do anything to get attention from him

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Melbadaze
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Default Apr 25, 2010 at 09:15 AM
  #22
Actually, the people that get attracted to "needy" type people, are far from maternal, they normally are trying to fill the hole with themselves.
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Default Apr 25, 2010 at 10:46 AM
  #23
God guys thats very much like me.

I have work colleagues who are older than I am and they are VERY motherly towards me. People think I am younger than my friends when ironically I am older I have no idea why people want to mother me. I do not act immature or anything. I act like me!! Confused so am I. My friends have said they mother me because they feel/see/sense something that I need etc. I am still confused
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BrokenNBeautiful
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Default Apr 26, 2010 at 01:19 PM
  #24
Yes, I feel just as uncomfortable as they say they feel. I hate this feeling, like everybody thinks they have to take care of me.

I can't be around my roommate right now cause he just seems to automatically be irritated with me when I show my face. I get this vibe, "What do you need now, Billi?" Ugh.

B.

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Default Aug 20, 2010 at 06:03 PM
  #25
I can't say I've successfully changed but I do know a technique. You change your thoughts. Pick a mantra word like 'beware' or 'dominant' or 'strength' and when you see people no matter what the discussion is this word is floating around in the back of your mind. It changes your body language and your responses to people on a subconscious level. For emotional abusers I use 'beware'. For a boss or authority figure I would use 'strength'. Whatever is the image you want to project of yourself. Make sure you are speaking of yourself and not the person you're with. Sounds nutty but fight fire with fire.
Good luck.
Good post by the way.
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Ygrec23
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Question Aug 20, 2010 at 07:40 PM
  #26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melbadaze View Post
Actually, the people that get attracted to "needy" type people, are far from maternal, they normally are trying to fill the hole with themselves.
I wonder if Melbadaze is right. I'm one of those folk who are attracted to "needy" type people. At least to my wife, and we've been a couple for 42 years. A large part of why we're together for so long is that I feel so strongly that she needs me to take care of her. She certainly is not sending out such signals consciously, she's not that sophisticated. But I'm completely convinced that she could not take care of herself. It certainly isn't true now (she's sliding into dementia), but it wasn't true 42 years ago when we first got together, either. I myself haven't the slightest idea why I would be attracted to needy people. We got together first when I was 23. And I have no memory of having been with needy women before that. There are none such in my family. There was just something so NECESSARY about her when I met her. I've loved her all the time for 42 years. Now she REALLY needs me. And I'm very willing to take care of her. I do not know why. Take care.

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