Home Menu

Menu



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
El-ahrairah
Grand Member
 
El-ahrairah's Avatar
 
Member Since Apr 2010
Location: Atmosphere
Posts: 943
14
Default Apr 25, 2010 at 09:11 AM
  #21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miracle1986 View Post
You post reminds me so much of myself. I am always very needy, etc too
Even my husband, I fear, feels more like my care-taker than my companion.
same here with my bf...
I act like a kid without trying or having control...
I do anything to get attention from him

__________________
"Tear down the wall"
I attract maternal ppl

El-ahrairah is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Melbadaze
Account Suspended
 
Member Since Jul 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 1,946
15
Default Apr 25, 2010 at 09:15 AM
  #22
Actually, the people that get attracted to "needy" type people, are far from maternal, they normally are trying to fill the hole with themselves.
Melbadaze is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Miss Laura
Elder
 
Miss Laura's Avatar
 
Member Since Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,275
16
85 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 25, 2010 at 10:46 AM
  #23
God guys thats very much like me.

I have work colleagues who are older than I am and they are VERY motherly towards me. People think I am younger than my friends when ironically I am older I have no idea why people want to mother me. I do not act immature or anything. I act like me!! Confused so am I. My friends have said they mother me because they feel/see/sense something that I need etc. I am still confused
Miss Laura is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
BrokenNBeautiful
Mental Wellness Mensch
 
BrokenNBeautiful's Avatar
 
Member Since Apr 2009
Location: I live with myself. Because that is all I can depend on. Everthing around me changes.
Posts: 3,439
15
1,457 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 26, 2010 at 01:19 PM
  #24
Yes, I feel just as uncomfortable as they say they feel. I hate this feeling, like everybody thinks they have to take care of me.

I can't be around my roommate right now cause he just seems to automatically be irritated with me when I show my face. I get this vibe, "What do you need now, Billi?" Ugh.

B.

__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness!
BrokenNBeautiful is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
barleysmile
Member
 
barleysmile's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2010
Posts: 54
14
Default Aug 20, 2010 at 06:03 PM
  #25
I can't say I've successfully changed but I do know a technique. You change your thoughts. Pick a mantra word like 'beware' or 'dominant' or 'strength' and when you see people no matter what the discussion is this word is floating around in the back of your mind. It changes your body language and your responses to people on a subconscious level. For emotional abusers I use 'beware'. For a boss or authority figure I would use 'strength'. Whatever is the image you want to project of yourself. Make sure you are speaking of yourself and not the person you're with. Sounds nutty but fight fire with fire.
Good luck.
Good post by the way.
barleysmile is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Ygrec23
Still Alive
 
Ygrec23's Avatar
 
Member Since Apr 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,853
14
72 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Question Aug 20, 2010 at 07:40 PM
  #26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melbadaze View Post
Actually, the people that get attracted to "needy" type people, are far from maternal, they normally are trying to fill the hole with themselves.
I wonder if Melbadaze is right. I'm one of those folk who are attracted to "needy" type people. At least to my wife, and we've been a couple for 42 years. A large part of why we're together for so long is that I feel so strongly that she needs me to take care of her. She certainly is not sending out such signals consciously, she's not that sophisticated. But I'm completely convinced that she could not take care of herself. It certainly isn't true now (she's sliding into dementia), but it wasn't true 42 years ago when we first got together, either. I myself haven't the slightest idea why I would be attracted to needy people. We got together first when I was 23. And I have no memory of having been with needy women before that. There are none such in my family. There was just something so NECESSARY about her when I met her. I've loved her all the time for 42 years. Now she REALLY needs me. And I'm very willing to take care of her. I do not know why. Take care.

__________________
We must love one another or die.
W.H. Auden
We must love one another AND die.
Ygrec23
Ygrec23 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply
attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:12 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.