DEpendent Personality Disorder

Member Since: Sep 2011
Posts: 10 (SuperPoster!)


DEpendent Personality Disorder
Does anybody have any advice how to overcome this scourge that has ruled my life for 30 years. I feel hopeless depressed and anxious, Help!!

I have asked the same question on a thread in the DPD place. I haven't had any replies so far though.
I don't know myself, but with me it has become somehow better with time and feeling that I can live and cope on my own and be self-sufficient.
I'm not sure what else has helped with my improvement otherwise I would give you the answer. In fact, I would quite like a bit of advice, as - although I have improved - I'm still not quite where I want to be with it.

I hope you'll get some responses.

All the best!

HI im 51 how old are you?

I'm not positive of getting over this, i'm very fearful, you can e-mail privately if you want

please tell me if you find out that has just scared me ive recently been diagnosed with this dependancy but I have no one to talk to or no where to turn and im scared

There used to be another term for DPD...it was called "marriage"... .. specifically to a controlling spouse..back in the day when women made nary a dime working....their husbands were the bread winners and their wives developed this condition....since divorce has become so popular, they decided to turn marriage into a disorder....lovely

Hello everyone, I want to reach out through cyber space first of all and let you know you have been heard. If I could i'd hug you and tell you you will be alright. I also would like to encourage you to not be so hard on yourself. I have a wonderful therapist who never brought up this topic with me nor diagnosed me with having DPD and this is what I want to share with you--after I posted on here that I had discovered I probably had this I had a session with him. I told him all about my self-discovery and self-diagnosis and asked him if he thought I indeed had it and why had he never mentioned it before???? He said basically that he doesn't proscribe to the typical "labeling" mentality of the mental health profession; that it does people more harm than good to label themselves as having a diagnosed mental illness. He said it is better to focus specifically on things about ourselves we want to change and not worry about labels.

Now before you think he's a kook, I was suicidal when I started seeing him 16 months ago. I had found out my husband had cheated on me with several other women and I was at the lowest point in my life. He did suggest anti-depressants and I went off them after a year and I'm doing quite well, even with this new discovery about myself and DPD. For me, it wasn't depressing discovering this but more of an, "aha!! So THAT explains a lot!!!"

For example, I also have undiagnosed adult ADD. He has not diagnosed me, but I know I have it. Instead of worrying about the label, he works with me specifically on things to help myself be less distracted. Like turning off my phone when I'm working, or getting ready as I am a chronically late person. I am working on minimizing distractions and making concrete goals and steps so I accomplish things.

I'm 52 and I guess I've been through so much, I now look at everything I learn about myself as a gift, not a curse. So what if I'm ADD and have DPD?? I think it just makes me more interesting LOL But seriously, I have had a LOT of therapy and still go every other week so I am a work in progress. I highly recommend psychotherapy and maybe anti-depressants because to get better you need to have hope. I was so angry I had to go on meds (he DID diagnose me with PTSD) but I got better. Be open to anything that helps.

Hugs to you all.

Self esteem work is the only thing that helped me and Spiritual work like the 3rd step of AA.
good luck,
jim

go here: Dependent Personality Disorder Symptoms | Psych Central

look here: Dependent Personality Disorder Symptoms | Psych Central

try this: Dependent Personality Disorder Symptoms | Psych Central

This was also my realization after a while in 12 step support groups so I STOPPED saying: I'm an ACA, CODEPENDENT, ALCOHOLIC, etc. because it didn't describe my reality or GOAL to recover and get better. I began to notice that others were STOPPING the traditional habit of labeling them self as well.
I decided, like your therapist recommended, to focus on RECOVERY instead of dwelling on all the things that had made me ill in the first place - like very bad, dysfunctional parenting to begin with. It's been a long road and still continues BUT I'm way better now thanks to groups and Self Esteem work.
best wishes,
jim

Thankyou for sharing.

I HATE this reasoning. I want to know exactly what is wrong so I can attack it. I have not been diagnosed (and it seems they wont do it) but there is one specific trait that I have been having a hell of a lot of trouble with over the years and its just clicked today that it was a trait and not what I thought. Had I known it was a trait I would probably not spent so many days physically hurting myself because I just thought I was too lazy and stupid to be able to make decisions. I am so so mad with my care takers now. They could have stopped a hell of a lot of pain and suffering had they just told me what this problem was.

That is how some doctors are, few of them, most of them do just place a label on us, which i think myself sometimes we need in order to learn about ourselves, but some don't so we don't mess things up for them. they want us to be ourselves but they don't realize we don't know who we really are instead.

I would say the same as jimmy, making your self-esteem grow up.

You already did the first step, i mean, knowing your tendencies, so now that you are awared of them, you can counterate them, little by little. With experience.

Don't laugh, but i have just discovered I have dependency tendencies and I'm 43. I think never it's late. But, one of the things I learnt lately is to say NO.

This is an old thread from 2011 that has been brought up again. For those who think the discussion is appropriate here and now, please feel free to create a new thread. This thread will now be closed.