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Community Support Team Member Since Dec 2015
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,298
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#1
What's the difference? Pdoc says I'm codependent on my mother. I didn't receive any sort of diagnosis so I don't know what to think.
__________________ "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” – Helen Keller |
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 1,013
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#2
Codependency means you rely on a person. This can be because of illness (physical or mental), and in fact usually is. Have you been diagnosed with anything else (anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc)? If so, maybe he means your illness makes you codependent on her. It's not uncommon for people with mental illness to be codependent. It doesn't necessarily mean they feel like they can't survive otherwise, though. It basically just means they struggle to (as in have a hard time finding a job because of their symptoms, have a hard time shopping because of symptoms, etc).
Whereas with dependent personality disorder we feel we literally can't survive without the person whom we depend on. With us, there is often a deep seated fear of losing this person. Many of us may jump from relationship to relationship to avoid having to be independent. Being independent feels like an impossible task. I often fear losing my partner, because I'm terrified that I won't be able to support myself. I am not only codependent on him, but I feel like I literally need him. Make sense? __________________ Love is.. OSFED|MDD/PPD|GAD|gender dysphoria|AvPD a baby smiling at you for the first time a dog curling up by your side... and your soulmate kissing your forehead when he thinks you're sound asleep |
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HD7970GHZ, RainyDay107
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88Butterfly88, giddykitty, RainyDay107
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Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Dec 2015
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,298
(SuperPoster!)
8 10.5k hugs
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#3
Thank you bronze, makes sense. I do have multiple disorders so it's probably just regular codependency.
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Member
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: Florida/Space Coast
Posts: 216
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#4
Quote:
From the time we started dating, she was verbally and emotionally abusive and because I was madly in love with her, I tolerated it. Five years ago, in couples therapy, I came to understand that I have a dependent personality but I also had developed learned helplessness and feeling hopeless. She knows it and exploits it. I'm like an indentured servant, not her husband who has an illness. No autonomy nor independence. She calls the shots because she has the money. I can touch and taste freedom but, even though I receive a monthly Social Security check and have some money in the ban k, I'm so utterly fearful of reclaiming my life and I hate myself for the man I've become. __________________ Treatment resistant rapid cycling/mixed state/C-PTSD/non-restorative sleep Barely hanging onto my life. For sleep: Calcium Carbonate/Magnesium Carbonate 1 grain of desiccated thyroid(60 mg) 4 grains of desiccated thyroid/a.m. Rx testosterone injections for low T + several nutritional supplements Mediterranean style diet/moderate carb, high protein. |
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HD7970GHZ, Travelinglady
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Junior Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 10
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#5
@Intergalactic traveler: Yes, I know what that's like, i used to live with my Mom and she did everything for me. She thought for me, she kept up with my appointments, she kept up with everything for my car, and she was constantly buying me things. She bought me a chair for my apartment earlier this week. I was raised this way from birth, I never learned how to do anything for myself. I didn't stay there because i was emotionally attached, i stayed there because i couldn't hold a job. Employers hated me when they found out i couldn't do anything for myself. I was misreble at mom's, sometimes my self esteem was so low I couldn't even get out of bed. Finally, in the early '90's, I got a job as a petitioner and moved out and shared an apartment with a friend of mine. Then, in the late '90's, my Dad helped me get on SSI and I moved to California and became a street performer, a job I was really good at. I'm back in Little Rock now and she hasn't learned anything, she still tries to do everything for me. I have my own apartment, though.
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Junior Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 10
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#6
@:IntergalacticTraveler One more thing, if you're in an abusive relationship, GET OUT!!IWhen I was in therapy, my therapist emphasised that over and over. DON'T LET PEOPLE ABUSE YOU! DON'T STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH AN ABUSIVE PERSON!!I If you have social security and money in the bank, you should get your own place. You should get some books on assertiveness training and you can learn to do things for yourself!
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