[me05]

I am in high school. I talk to my guidance counselor every other week or so to check up on things. she knows that i'm sad sometimes and she knows me pretty well. I am thinking of telling her that I am really depressed. I never wanted to get that far into it, or make her think that I am because I am afraid what she will do. but i don't think I will feel any better until I do. I know that I cant tell her that I SI. I was just wondering if anybody could help me have a way to tell her. I just don't want to sit down and be like "so, i am depressed." I just don't know what to do about it. I meet with her Tuesday.

[justfloating]

first of all, hugs because you're feeling so depressed and hugs for recognizing that you need help to get through it It's very brave of you.

I'm in university but I've been depressed since high school, and I didn't actually tell anyone about it until I started my second year of uni. That's a lot of suffering I could have avoided if I sought out help sooner, but I was scared and ashamed and not sure where to turn. When I finally realized I needed help from my student support office (and by then I had REALLY hit rock bottom), I walked all the way up to the door, turned around, and walked around the block for about two hours before I got up the courage to actually go IN. Taking that first step is really, really hard.

The best advice I can give is JUST DO IT. Can you give specifics about what you're afraid of? Is it fear that the counsellor will tell your parents, of what she'll think of you, maybe of what it means to be honest about difficulties you've never really talked about before? That fear isn't going to go away, but it's important for you to recognize that doing this DESPITE your fear is a really, really good thing for you, and you deserve to go through with getting help, even if it scares you at first. The first step is always the hardest.

I don't know how old you are and I never spoke to a counsellor before I turned 18, but before 18 I believe in most places it's the law that guidance counsellors have to report it if they believe a student is in danger of harming themselves or others, or if they think that they aren't in a position to help (ie, they think you need to be seeing a psychiatrist) they may be able to refer you to someone else. Otherwise anything you say is strictly confidential, and you are within your rights to stress that you don't want her talking to anyone else right now, if that's what you're worried about. You can also ask her beforehand what her legal duties are concerning confidentiality, and she will have to lay those out for you if you want.

Also, are you on meds? The best way to open up about your depression could be to say "I am on anti-depressants." That way if saying "I'm depressed" makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to say it specifically, but the message still gets across. Have you also considered emailing your counsellor beforehand? That's what I did. I sent an email to my guidance office explaining that I was depressed and didn't know what to do, and that I was looking for some advice. Maybe you could open with a question, like "what do you know about depression?" or "do you think I might be depressed?" You might just be surprised by the answer to the last one. If you've been meeting your counsellor every week, she may have noticed some signs that you're depressed, especially since she probably has some training in recognizing the symptoms.

Try not to be afraid. What you're doing is a GOOD THING. It's a REALLY good thing! Talking out your feelings is one of the best things you can do for yourself, even though it's CRAZY scary. You probably trust this counsellor if you've been seeing her every couple of weeks, and you've probably gotten to know each other a bit, so try to remember that she's there to help. Good luck with everything, and keep us posted on how it goes.

[me05]

The last 3 weeks my guidance counselor has told me to come and see her. i've e-mailed her and communicated a day and time each week. yet she always seems to be somewhere else and i haven't seen her.. should i just give up?

[turquoisesea]

I don't think you should give up...things can get busy but that doesn't mean you can't get ahold of her or that she doesn't want to hear what you have to say.