[pineapplepeg85]

Both of my children have been diagnosed with depression and ADHD. Bipolar disorder is also suspected but we've just began treatment for the other conditions and time will tell. Aside from the daily stress of helping the kids deal with these disorders, I've found that the isolation we're experiencing just compounds the situation. We live a nice neighborhood in a nice town with great schools. When we moved here last year we were warmly welcomed by our neighbors and I had high hopes of cultivating new friendships for both myself and my children. But kids with depression and ADHD often don't behave according to society's expectations. My kids often express extreme anger, inappropriate language and destructive behavior (throwing things, kicking walls, etc.), no matter who is around. Instead of having fun with other kids, they get angry at them, swear at them and don't feel they're as smart or likable as them. I understand what makes my kids do this, but just try explaining it to your neighbors, who on the surface, all seem to have accomplished, well behaved kids. All I can say is that after a few back yard bar-b-ques and several displays of this behavior, our neighbors want nothing to do with us. I'd like to shout out at them, "It's OK...it's not contageous, and they are getting some help! We're really nice people!" But mental health issues are still whispered about and stigmatized, at least around here. My kids are aware that their behavior is inappropriate and they try to curb it, but it's hard to explain to them why the neighbors don't wave to us anymore and why their kids ignore them at school. I wish people could be more understanding and accepting but I guess they don't want their "normal" kids within a mile of mine. It's just so lonely and isolating, and even if my kids did a complete 180 and behaved like choir boys, the damage is done. Sorry....I just had to vent.

[Christina86]

Mental illness is stigmatized, you're right about that... but perhaps the best course of action here IS to tell your neighbours that it's not contagious and that they're seeking to get better?

Being "depressed" is no longer taboo... I know plenty of people on antidepressants for 'depression' who I don't think really need them... but it's one of those 'illnesses' that people have begun to accept.

Perhaps sitting down and talking with the neighbours is a good idea. Invite them over - or have a BBQ or something.

Otherwise, simply apologizing for your kids behaviour is a good start. Maybe they feel that they're not sure of how to react, so they'd rather just avoid the problem instead. Except the problem happens to be impressionable kids whose feelings wind up being hurt!

Have you thought about joining a support group of some sort?? I'm sure your area should have support groups for parents, or for those with mental illnesses. Perhaps also finding something that your kids like to do that's constructive (ie. not punching walls or fits of angry expression) would help them to get along better with their peers?

Are they in any sort of counselling or therapy? Have you talked to their teachers at all about their diagnoses? You said that they're getting treatment... does that mean drugs?

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Pineapplepeg85! Yes, depression is isolating.

I was a “different” child. Relationships with neighborhood children were few and fleeting. I got used to being alone. Eventually, by middle school, I found and was able to develop friendships with other “different” youngsters.

Christina86' advice about a support group might not only be good for you but also for your children. Oh, and venting here is therapeutic, too!

[trevorzero]

If there isn't a support group where you are that meets your specific needs then you should consider creating one. A group for kids and parents dealing with mental health issues would be a great asset to the community.