Neverending Hopelessness...

Why do I have to be so negative all of the time? Why can't I ever see my life getting any better? I have so much going for me, and so much to look forward to, so why can't I find something to be positive about, and to look forward to?

Fallenangel,

Depression strips us of several things, One of those being the ability to have a positive outlook. Yes a lot of people who are depressed have a lot going for them but depression strikes and takes away mobility, motivation, personal will to do anything. It makes you lethargic, lacking hunger and ability to care for yourself.

So don't be hard on yourself. If you wanted to you could start out each day making a list of positive things to think about to help you negate the negative things that go on in your mind. Like a gratitude list. That would be a great idea. It might even help combat the depression.

I hope you get better soon.

Love and Hugs,
Tara

(((((((fallenangel))))))))

You can't be positive because you're depressed. It's not a flaw in your personality, will power or spirit, you are ill, and one of the symptoms of that illness is an inability to be positive.

Maybe it'd help to look at your depression as separate from yourself? Instead of asking "why am I unhappy?!" ask "why am I grateful for what I have?" Just because your depression makes it difficult or impossible for you to feel happy about your circumstances in life doesn't mean you can't still appreciate them. Counting your blessings sounds a little cliche, but I honestly believe that its power lies in its ability to separate yourself from your illness. If you break your leg, you don't think, "I don't walk, I'm so lazy!" You look at your leg, see that it's broken, and tell yourself, "I CAN'T walk right now but I would if I could." I hate being told to be positive or "think happy thoughts" because the point of depression is that I'm as incapable of thinking happy thoughts as I am of flying, but what I'm aware of is that my incapacity to do those things is not my fault, and the best way to fight it is not to think the opposite of what my depression is telling me, but to recognize when it's the depression and not real life that is influencing how I feel.

Depression is tricky because it's hard to separate yourself from it. It makes you feel awful, then you feel awful for feeling awful, which makes you feel worse, which makes you more depressed, which makes you feel worse for BEING so depressed ... it's a terrible cycle. Sometimes, we just have to acknowledge that we're stuck with an illness but that we are not our depression. If we're depressed we may not be able to fight it, but we don't have to help it along either.

Thank you all for your support and comments! It's so hard to see clearly during depression attacks, so thank you all for setting me straight. :