[azirongrl]

I'm really hoping I'm not the only person with this issue. I have wanted to go to counseling for years. I went to one counselor about 18 months ago, and she kept talking to me about my finances, telling me that I "should really listen to Suze Orman - that woman's a genius!"

This does not help, and is, of course, AFTER I've told her about my issues and how I'm considering going home and sleeping until my life is over. I'm getting better, slowly, with the help of my amazing husband and friends. However, I still think it would be beneficial to see a trained counselor or psychologist.

But... I'm scared. To death. I've already opened up to a few people (including this Suze Orman fan, who turns out to be trying to start a Life Coaching business and is leaving her psych practice...)

I'm having a hard time finding the strength/courage to open up to someone else again. How can I get over this, and how do I weed out potential bad experiences before going for an appointment?

[lonegael]

(((((azirongrl))))) Just like any other meeting with someone, it's either going to click, immediately or after a few visits, perhaps, but a disasterous match is a disasterous match. When you look for a therapist, leave yourself open to seeing more than one for that first meeting, and let the T know that you are seeing if you two match. You are not obligated to say yes, to a therapist after that first meeting if you feel that it's not going to work. Nothing is worse than a therapistwho is trying to "Sell" something to you. Well, maybe there is but for the sake of this post, letäs just say you were very unlucky with the "suze Orman" fan. You can stick with a more psychodynamic therapist who will do more work with your past, or try going to a CBT/RET therapist who - most of the time - will concentrate on the here and now. You have the right to not talk about things that make you uncomfortable. If the relationship is good, you will have time to do so when you feel it's right. I've worked on and off in the mental health field, and I know a lot of patients don't alwyas know these things.
I hope you find someone you feel you can talk to, and that the bad experiences are kept to a minimum. HUgs, and good luck!

[Naturefreak]

Azirongirl
You are definitely not alone on this one. I bet 9 out of 10 people have a certain fear of seeing a psychologist for the first time.
It's like anything , the more you expose yourself to it the easier it becomes. Psychologists are there to help you . Now wasps and hornets scare me to death , but I don't need to associate with them.
I'm sure you'll do just fine. Good luck and take care of yourself.

[JudeeB]

Not all of them are equally good. They each seem to be good at something; working with kids, or abused women or couples, etc.

It does take some searching to find the one that will be helpful to you, for your unique issues.

I, again, know I need to see someone so I have to call my insurance and see who I can check out. It's a hassle, I don't like it, but the alternative stinks. Someone I loved very much died in October and I can sense I need some help to get through it. I can feel the depression creeping up on me.

It takes so much energy to interview these people, telling my story one more time, grrrr.... But I never want to find myself in that dark, cold place, hopeless and in despair so I will make the effort. If I don't take care of me, no one else will.

I have choices. I choose to fight for a better life, even when it seems overwhelming. Oh, I'll growl a bit and feel sorry for myself, but in the end I will do what needs to be done. I hope you one day will do the same.
Judy

[MickG]

Psychologists vary. The first one I went to couldn’t stop talking about the bipolar stripper who counted her cash in front of him each session. When he did finally stop talking about her he would focus on my portfolio (I was trading stocks regularly at the time.) Needless to say I stopped going to him.

Years later after a hospitalization I saw a female therapist who was not a fit at all. She discounted my experience by avoiding discussion of things that she felt were not real (hearing voices, etc.) so I walked out.

A short time ago I was matched with a therapist through a state agency that actually took the time to match patients with specialists and even matched them according to gender preference if that was important to the patient. For example, my therapist regularly deals with patients who suffer or have suffered with psychosis. He seems to be a good match at least for now.

I think it is important that you consider what your goals are through therapy, their specialty, if the gender of the therapist is important to you, cost, frequency of visits and other things that are important to you. Talk about those goals you have with the therapist on your initial visit that way you won’t have to open up as much before getting a bit of a feel for them. You may have to test the waters a bit until you find that right fit.

I wish you the best.

[thunderbear]

Hi. Babysteps is so right about this one. I am terrified of my psychiatrist. Cause I know once we get to talking about the bad stuff, I will want to quit as I have before. But I cannot give up!

[phoenix47baby]

So sorry you had this experience. What an experience. Geez, a Suze Orman fan who had a different agenda. Next time, when you feel comfortable, you could try a MFCC (marriage family child counselor), a MFT (marriage family therapist) or a LCSW (licensed clinical social worker) who are trained in different aspects of counseling. You may want to do an interview with them over the phone to find out what their specialty is. Just some ideas. Sening good thoughts to you.

[opheliasorrow]

May trigger?

I was also terrified of anyone, psychiatrists, psychologists, councellors - I was abused sexually by a psychologist .....(as a child)

I am fortunate to have a FEMALE psychotherapist now who is absolutely fabulous and is the only oerson in the world to understand me. It took group therapy, a councellor and a couple of male therapists for me to find my brilliant T. It is trial and error to find a T who you connect with, I have to add here I was a young child when I was abused, he was someone my mum was 'seeing', it didn't happen as an adult ... just wanted to make that clear ... but it made me wary. I wish you luck, JudeeB is right though, unfortunately we have to go through this in order to heal. the alternatives are living life in misery right? Good luck honey, I know it's hard but you can do this ... Ophelia xxx