[Tiggy4]

What I experience, and have experienced all my life, is more like bereavement than depression. It's a feeling of loss. I don't seem to fit the normal categories of depression.

I was taken away from my mother as a baby and was in eight different foster homes and an orphanage in my first six months. Then I was fostered by my parents who had no plans to adopt, but t here was nowhere to send me back to. Adoption services in the UK were in a mess at the time. It wasn't like it is today. Finally the same people adopted me when i was six. I think it took a long time because my mother didn't want to sign the papers.

This year I've experienced a great deal of loss because my adoptive parents evicted me from their home after a bit of a row on Christmas Day evening. I moved to another part of the country and they don't want to see me at all. It was sudden and unexpected and for quite a long while I was suffering from stress. I'm living on my own for the first time, though have lived with friends and at university before. I hate living alone, but I had no choice and I'm not in a position to move now.

I've had other losses since I got here. The friend I made moved away, another friend has stopped contacting me and a major, major thing happened that's too involved to go into now, but involved losing someone I was attached to when I was 16-18, losing him and then finding him again. Now it looks like I've lost him again.

This is my first post apart from an introductory one earlier today.

[lynn P.]

I would agree with you, that you're suffering from bereavement sadness. It obviously rooted deeply from your loss as a child. There's no doubt that bereavements not just for someone dying. but occurs when a relationship ends. I'm so sorry you've suffered like this. Do you have a therapist?

[KDlady]

sometimes life just hurts - I am sorry for your pain

[turquoisesea]

I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sending gentle hugs over to you.

Hopefully this next leg in your life will be a bit nicer to you

[Rohag]

Hello, Tiggy4! I'm not surprised your life experiences have shaped the way you personally experience depression. Depression is not a one-size-fits-all illness.

Especially considering you have a life-long history of bereavement / abandonment, seeking professional help could be of great assistance (I realise that's not always possible or practical).

I join everyone here in wishing you close, affirming, stable relationships.

Hello, Tiggy4. Please consider professional help. Good luck.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Tiggy4 )))))))))))))))))

[lonegael]

Hi (((((((((Tiggy)))))))) I don't have much to add, but here's some Huggs to keep you a little warmer on such a cold night.