[winston07]

Wow, I don't even no were to being. I have had three years of bad luck and I just want to try and see the good of things, but I am having such a difficult time with with this. I tested positive for HIV in 2006 and found the strenght to get through it with alot of research and great friends. Then in 2008 I got cancer and did the whole chemo treatment and am now in remission and very healthy. I am in Real Estate and as we all know the market is gone. My last closing was July of 09 and have not seen a pay check since then. I decided last year to go back to school and get into the medical field were I wouldn't have to worry about a job. I started out doing very well but now I have lost all interest in school and want to drop out. I have been looking for a job for months now. I am willing to do anything, but honestly I can't even get a waiter job. I am still looking but the stress of unemployment has played a role on school so I feel like if I drop out then I can focus harder on getting a job. I do have a partner (15 years now) who is very supportive and has helped me through this difficult time but because I have been on my own since I was 18 and have had to be independent so I have issues with taking help, even from the one who loves me. He says things will be ok but I just can't seem to see that light and have gone into a deep depression. My depression and aniexty meds don't seem to be working. I just feel like I am going through the motions and don't care about anything. I find myself spending the day just crying over the least things. Well I have vented enough for one night but there is such much more to say and so many more demons to talk about but that it will have to be at another time for I have to get to bed and get up at 3 am to down two bottle of liquid for a CAT scan tomorrow morning...but good night and I will write again soon.

Hello, winston. When was the last time you have your meds checked with a psychiatrist? Do you have a therapist? If not, maybe you should?

[paddym22]

I am pos too and am dealing with several of the issues you talk about. Welcome to PC and I sincerely hope you get good support. If you want to talk about any issues surrounding HIV and mental health please feel free to PM me and we can share stories and support each other. Hoping to hear from you, take care of yourself

Paddy

How are you doing, winston?