[sunflower55]

I don't really know where to post this, but, this seemed like the right place. I'm dealing with seasonal depression right now. It's normal for me, this time of year. I also have some pretty serious stressors going on, too. There's work being done at my house, which is in disarray. That's bad, because I'm already ADHD. I'm in a bad place at work as a displaced teacher. (I work everyday, but, don't have my own classroom after 24 years.) And now, to the point...

I have a neighbor who lives right behind me. I completely stay away from this woman. She continually harasses me, over and over. It's gone on for years. It started when she took in a former tenant of mine, who robbed me; she wanted to be his "defender" and I wouldn't hear it. Since then, she has screamed obscenities at me from the street, come onto my property when I had friends over and began ranting like a banshi, she's put false charges with the police against my son, (the police did nothing about it, knowing they were false from the start), and more.

Last summer, I went to court to get a restraining order. Only then did she stop; she's a psychiatrist and can lose her license in this state for her behavior. During the winter, there's never a problem. As soon as the longer days and the warmer weather come out, so does this Mr Hyde form of Dr Jeckel.

Well, it just started again today. She was outside, in the pouring rain, with a push broom. She was sweeping the winter debris from the street onto my off street parking area! When she saw me looking at her, she flipped me the middle finger, and continued. Only when she saw me pick up the phone, (I was calling a neighbor to be witness), did she stop and go inside.
I know she drinks; she's an alcoholic. She may be bipolar, given the way her moods come out in the spring.

I cannot take this anymore. I just broke down and cried today. This has gone on for years! She is really a nutcase, and I live directly in front of her!

So, what am I supposed to do now? Staying away from her completely has not worked - she comes after me. Going to court was only a temporary help - she's back at it again. I can't take this anymore!!!

Peace!

[1flagwriter]

Is moving an option??

[Naturefreak]

Originally Posted by 1flagwriter

Is moving an option??

Good advice . (((Sunflower55)))

[sunflower55]

I've tried to sell my house a number of times. But, in this market, it's not going.
Right now, I'm doing major renovations to try and help it sell. A new bathroom, moved the stairs to help the "flow" of the house, and also because the old stairs were not up to code and were not good. Put a bathtub into the other bathroom, to make it two bathrooms, rather than one and 1/2. Plus, I'll be painting when all the other stuff is done. All these things are supposed to help sell.

When I can sell, I will. If I could have before, I would have. But, I can't give away my home; it's the only asset I have. And I've lost much already due to the economic downturn. So, it's not an option to move right now. Not until I can sell.

Thanks anyway. Any other ideas? Please!

Peace!

[Rohag]

Wow. This person is a psychiatrist, and probably/possibly bipolar and alcoholic.

I've had neighbor problems before, but I sure don't envy you. No matter what her problems are, she is still responsible for her actions.

You've elevated this to the level of the court. Though the legal route is slow and has its limitations, I personally feel you've done the right thing.

Now is the time to DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT. Photograph/video the after-effects of her actions (for example, the debris in your off-street parking area) - or catch her in the act (as long as she is on your property or in a public space). Log time, date, place, witnesses. Find out all you can about her through public sources. Get a discreet recording device and keep it on you if you confront her out in a public space; let her talk, rant, etc.

Serious question: is she armed? Does she possess a weapon of any type?

If you have to approach the police, have evidence in hand. Document your meeting with the police. You were calling a neighbor to witness - great! Enlist the support of friends and neighbors. Chances are you are not the only one troubled by this person.

All of this may be beyond your present capacities or be too triggering. Inform your caretakers. Lean on your friends and neighbors. Handled correctly, this "fight" could end up benefiting everyone involved - including your neighbor and her patients.

[sunflower55]

Rohag,
I had 13 police reports and two written neighbors statements last year when I went to court. The judge told me to get a lawyer. It cost me $500 just to go to court! I cannot afford a lawyer too! I never got the restraining order...

But, the police told her I was going to court. That's why she stopped. She knew she could lose her license.

I am going to continue documenting. But, to what avail? The court did me no good whatsoever. I was shocked! With all the evidence I had of clear and persistent harassment, the judge did nothing! Even the police told me I would have no problem getting the restraining order - they were shocked too at the judges response!

I have a feeling it's going to come down to me calling the medical board. I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to destroy her professionally. But, if she continues, I don't know anything else to do.

Thanks for your thoughts...

Peace!

[lynn P.]

Great advice from (((Rohag))). That's so sad ((Sunflower)). I think you should do everything Rohag suggested and have your camcorder handy and let her see you filming her too. I hope things improve soon.

[BashfullOne]

I agree with Rohag and Lynn - get a camcorder. They are cheap now and also have a built in recorder - when she sees you with this she is most likely to back off and leave you alone. If not you can send the recording to the medical board. They can take the digital card and put into any computer now days, and watch and listen to her crazy rants.
My simpathys are with you - I'm so lucky to have such wonderful neighbors all around me - in fact, peole want to move into our neighborhood and no one wants to move out.
Best of luch to you Sunflower!!

[embracinglife]

good luck, I don't really know what to tell you as I am not very experienced in this area. It is quite surprising that she is a psychiatrist and is not getting herself the help that she apparently needs if she really is battling an addiction. does she bother other neighbors in the area? or is it just you? it's all so strange.

[msolson81]

I'm sorry you are going through this. It must be terrible to not feel safe in your own yard!! This woman reminds me of childhood bullies that made my life hell. What others have advised sounds wise to me. Hang in there. This woman sounds like she needs professional help. I feel bad for her patients!!

[sunflower55]

graciemi,
Yes, other neighbors have told me stories about her rantings. But, none have been for as long a period of time or as severe as they have with me. As I said earlier, she took in a former tenant of mine who had robbed me, and I wouldn't listen to her excuses for him. When she did so, she threw out her husband. Now, both are gone, and she's alone. The thief took her for all she was worth. So, I guess she's feeling quite the fool now, too. In any case, this year is no different than any other year. And I'm tired of the garbage coming from this woman.

I don't have a camcord. I had pictures last year, (just as I had witness statements), but, again, the judge never looked at them. I suppose I could get one. I'll have to save for it, so, it will take a little bit. That won't matter, she'll continue. She always does.

I do live in a beautiful neighborhood. I've lived here 25 years. I've never had a problem with any neighbor before this nutcase moved the thief into her house. As he was my my former tenant, I had to deal with that stress daily! He cost me over $20,000! Yet, *she* has the audacity to be angry and to act out at me!
It's a world gone mad...

Thank you all...

Peace!

Sunflower, take a look at this site: http://www.health.ri.gov/hsr/bmld/complaints.php

You can call here 1-800-942-7434 to get an idea about whether your neighbor's behavior fits within the regulatory scheme. The disciplinary duties, of course, deal primarily with her ability to treat patients. What she is doing seems to indicate she has a mental illness and may make her unfit. If this person values her license the filing of a complaint ought to get her attention.

Also, take a look here: https://www.ribar.com/Default.aspx You may be able to get a reduced rate or pro bono attorney. Sometimes, the Bar Association will direct you to an attorney that practices in your area of interest who will consult with you for no fee.

I would ask the attorney about the efficacy of a complaint against the psychiatrist. I also would ask about getting a permanent injunction against this woman barring her from harassing you and trespassing on your property.

I would also try to get a meeting with the chief of police to ask if there is nothing they can do to help you.

You may also consider talking to the city attorney to find out what evidence you would need to produce for the city attorney to consider filing a criminal trespass complaint against this women.

Apparently, nothing will change until someone gets this woman's attention big time.

Good luck.

[sunflower55]

Sorry I haven't been back here for a while, Byzantine.
But THANK YOU!!!
Your resources are fantastic, as is your advice.

I will look into it tomorrow and see what I can do.
Please know, I *do* appreciate your support and your help in this matter!!!

Peace!

[FlamingJune]

Hi Sunflower,
Could you video tape her acting out on you and then either use it against her with the police or upload it on YouTube and embarrass her.
You'll have to get a camera positioned from your house so it will capture her harassing you.
This is the only thing I could think of. Sorry you're going through this. I know what it's like to have a bad neighbor.
I hope you find a solution soon.

[sunflower55]

Just wanted to update you.
I did look up the sites, Byzantine. I've downloaded them, and I'm ready to take action.

But, my counselor brought up a point, which I'd like to share here too.
She asked if this woman were a man, would the police let it go on like this year after year? She pointed out that this woman is abusive. And that abusers should be treated the same, whether they are women or men. And I know, from my work with a battered women's and children's shelter, that when the abuser is arrested the first time, it sends the message to them that it's NOT ok to continue!

So, I went to the station, and asked to speak to a leutenant I have spoken to before. I felt more comfortable with that. But, he wasn't in. Neither was the Captain, whom I asked for next. So, I got his secretary. She took a message; he wouldn't be back until Monday.

Tonight, I got a call from another Leutenant. He said he's now in charge of this type of thing. I gave him a briefing of what's transpired. And I asked him the question. He didn't answer. He just said to "let's start fresh. Call whenever she does anything."

I told him I already have 13 police statements and two witness statements! That I HAVE called each time, and NOTHING HAPPENS! And that *I* cannot take this ANYMORE!!! I also told him that if she's drunk and disorderly again, as the police have noted in the past, I *expect* her to be arrested! I didn't really get a response to that; just some heming and hawing about what they can and can't do.... blah, blah, blah!

So, there it is. Start again. Call the police when she starts again.
What didn't he understand?
She HAS started again!!!

This plan of his is nothing but a repeat of the past...
And I get to experience more and more of her abuse...

Thanks for listening...

Peace!

Hope someone listens to you and this harassment gets put to rest.

[Rohag]

I'm sorry about this whole situation. At some level where you live -- town, county, state -- there must be a "community-police relations" board or committee or panel or whatever. You might be able to turn to them for action. You may be able to get that information from your local mayor's office.

[sunflower55]

The next time, I will call the police, and I will make a complaint with the state medical board. Byzantine gave me that information already. I'm so grateful for it!

But, I've had enough. I'm not going to wait for the police anymore. They are *not* doing their job. And I'm anxious as a result of it. I should not have to get sick, literally, because of a whack job who is not being stopped by the people charged with this duty! Start again, my but! Go through it all over again? What, the existing 13 police reports and eye witnesses mean nothing?

I already told them I cannot go through this again. What do they think that means? I already said to them that I will *not* continue to walk away any more. Exactly what do they think *that* means? And their answer is, "Lets start again, and when she does something, call us."

It's what....I've already....done.
For nothing.

Thanks for listening. I'll be ok. I appreciate your help.


Peace!