[Sweetpea77]

I'm not sure if this would be the right forum for this or not, but I chose it because my sister is seriously in need of some help.

If you knew that something was going on that could endanger her children what would you do? I'm not talking drugs, she's clean. The quality of life from their almost non-existent father is no better with an emotionally and physically abusive (slaps the kids mouths, they are 9, 6, 4, only allows them a certain amount of toilet paper squares) step-mom. And lets face it, the quality of life in any child services or foster home can be worse than the streets sometimes.

I know my sister loves her children more than anything, she's doing what she has to to keep food and shelter for those kids. She's been in the hospital for depression (and I'm pretty sure there's paranoia in there too somewhere), and I honestly feel that her losing her kids would be enough to push her towards suicide. I don't know that for sure, we had a very close friend of ours kill himself when we were younger and it really shattered her. But I can feel it, if you know what I mean, she has nothing else, she lives and breathes for those kids. Plus she's got another one on the way in June!!

AAAAHHHH this is too much for my borderline personality head!!!!! Mom and Dad don't know, WTF should I do. I feel a sense of responsibility to the kids because they didn't "choose" this they are children. She's an adult. AHHHHHH

Any advice

Is your sister getting professional help?

[muse]

Oh my gosh, that's an awful situation all around. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place! Is there anyone else you know you could trust the kids with while she went and got help for herself? I assume that her pregnancy might be making whatever issues she has worse?

You might tell her that it would be a good idea for her kids to stay with another relative for a while so that she can get her own stuff together and be a better mom for them. I don't know the legal ins and outs of such things, but so long as they were still going to school and getting proper care that might be okay.

Good luck and do take care!! I'm sure this is incredibly trying for you.

[1flagwriter]

slaps the kids mouths

I won't attempt to offer advice because this is a very very difficult situation. Just remember, IT IS NEVER OKAY TO HIT A CHILD!!!!!

The kids need to be first and foremost in anything you decide to do.

[willowjames]

i agree with all that was said,as well as maybe you can talk with her and see if she is willing to see a professional

[Lisa Michelle]

Without knowing exactly what's going on, my best advice is to talk to your sister, try to get her to see that what she's doing is bad for the kids, and tell her that she has to change it or lose them (maybe be gentle with that though!). What are your parents relationship like with your sister? If your sister doesn't respond well to you, it might be a matter of getting your parents involved (in my family this is what I would do, my mum knows everything lol, but all families are different).
The kids have to come first... but if whatever is going on is something that can be changed, I would probably first give her the benefit of the doubt. If they are in real danger, I'm not sure what you should do but I think I would get your parents involved ASAP. It's a lot for YOU to deal with on your own.

If it's a matter of her needing more support, perhaps you could find out where she could get it from, whether it be money, or babysitting.

Good luck hun x