Need out.

I'm so sick of this. They moved my sister into my room. She's twenty-one, I'm twenty-five, and I'm not staying here because I have to, I'm staying because they need the money I bring in, so no one can say I'm being ungrateful.

Now we're never apart, just like old times.

I needed to go back to Bogart's to settle my tab today.

I spent the morning watching Heroes with her, spent the afternoon watching a movie she wanted to watch, got ready to start the long walk to the bar because I've never had my own car because I've always given my parents all my money, and then SHE GUILTS ME, like she always used to, like I didn't spend THE WHOLE DAY WITH HER.

And then we get home from walking around the park (four times, an even number, and her OCD drives me insane because I think she's doing it for attention, and yeah, I was going to walk anyway, but it's pretty funny that she doesn't care when I let her know my injured hip is killing me, like she's trying to punish me for trying to have some semblance of a life that doesn't include her).

And she's still sulking.

Like my whole day wasn't enough.

Like me doing what she asked me to do now gives her just enough guilt to use that to get attention.

I'm sick of this.

This is disgusting.

I need to move out, even if I can't afford to take my baby yet.

Inky, your desire to be free of the situation is totally understandable, and I have no reply. But your descriptions of your family pique my curiosity. Would you be comfortable saying a bit more about your sister and parents?

Yeah-what's the whole story? curious-I need to move too-and if you're anywhere near where I want to live, I'll throw in babysitting for free-experienced grandma here---we split the bills----etc. interested? I'm not keen on living with ANYBODY-but babies lighten up any household.....grasping at straws here--

It's awful for you having to livelike that---I'm sorry--it'll change soon---theo

I don't know. I've gotta be a little bit wary, you understand. I'm living in Fort Worth, and I work in Arlington. It sounds pretty good, actually, but I'd have to meet you and get to know you first.

Thank you very much for your comment and your support, I really appreciate it.

What do you want to know?

Nope, Texas isn't for me, but what led to your whole family depending on you for support? I think that's what Rohag would want to know, and your baby--who's taking care of
how old is he/she?--that's rough on your own and all---You're sure carrying alot on your
shoulders! A full time job, then your sister is dependent on you--what're the dynamics?--this time i'm asking to try to help out- not for any other reason-theo

You're a gifted writer, Inky (you don't need me to tell you that), and the people in your posts come alive as characters in a story. Theodora accurately discerns my questions. Also, I wonder if the way they treat you hides a shame they've become dependent on you.

Well... it's always been this way, ever since I was old enough to work. My father is bipolar and can't keep a job, and my mother just... isn't a social enough person to be out there. I can at least pretend. She can't. They both drive people into not liking them at work, and then they quit.

So now my mom stays home and watches the baby (she's one, just this month). My father is running his own business, but it hasn't seen a lot of success.

My sister is twenty-one, she seems to have some sort of learning disability, so working up to her GED is hard, slow going. She's at their mercy here, and I've always been the one who had to protect her from them.

A shrink would probably say this is all terribly co-dependent, but it's more dependent than co-dependent.

All I've ever wanted is out, but having to throw all my money into this place so my family doesn't have to live in a cardboard box keeps me from ever escaping.

Oh Inky! That is awful--what alot of pressure on you!!!

Is there anyway to get the whole family into therapy?---it's all so dysfunctional and
places you in the hot seat!!! Also, your daughter, she shouldn't be growing up in such an environment she needs mommy!! I dunno--just shaking my head---I really don't have any real solutions-anyone else? Rohag?-my heart to you (((INKY))) theo