[starrina]

To R Sanders,

I think it is time for you to let me have my say about things seeing as you all enjoy
having your say,now I may not be able to put things into words like the others but here goes
Firstly you say your not my father so prey tell what gave you the right to abuse me as you did
if I did to my kids half the things you did to me I would be locked up,did you know that
because of you I am going blind,did you know that I spend endless hours wondering why
why allen died and I lived if I am such a worthless person like you all think.
I really tried my best to be what you all wanted but I guess I failed that to oh well
"wasted and wounded and it ain't what the moon did" hell I know I was not the best child but
did we deserve the treatment we got no I do not think so I do not believe anyone does
as for what you did to my mother well thats a whole other story isn't it poor Bob his wife
played around on him but what about poor Mary her husband played around on her oops
did I say that out loud guess I did I know you wanted Aunty Vera to raise us all so you could
go out west with your girlfriend who by the way was 5 yrs older then your eldest child, but I also
know she refused due to her own stuff.Did it make you mad that she refused you after you
were never refused anything by your own mother is this where you learnt how to be so abusive
she taught you well you know locking me away for days on end belting me with whatever you
had in your hands at the time if this meant a saw then so be it if it was a power tool tough ****
you did not care what damage you were doing. Never not once did you comfort me when I was
upset about something you never hugged me or simply held my hand I always thought that
these things were a childs given rights to be held in a proper safe way not like you did your
"special" touches hurt and hurt bad at times I soon learnt how to block it out at a very young
age at that.Yes well there are so many things I want to say but for now this will do.
Oh one last thing thanks to you I have lost what little I had for a family oh yes I accept
responsability for my part the question is do YOU?.

Sue

Bravissimo starrina!!!! Yes !!! You tell him--let it out!!!!!

Proud of you!!!

I did the same with my (now deceased father-shrink applauded me!)

Get it out of you!!! I'm sorry he did that to you-----(((((HUGS)))))Theo

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((starrina))))

Thank you for sharing and good for you. I know that took a lot and I am sure it was not easy. I am proud of you for telling him and for sharing it with us. It touched my heart and tears filled my eyes as I read your words. I hope this helped you to write it out. I am sure that there is more you need to say and in time you will hon. Know that we care and are here for you. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[muse]

((((((((((starrina))))))))))

I wish I had more to say but your letter is so emotionally charged that all I can do is wish you gentleness and peace. It's so good that you let all this out!!