[garden gal]

I found out yesterday that my therapist is retiring soon. We've been working together for almost four years, and he knows more about me than just about anyone else. Its one of the most meaningful relationships I've ever had. After he told me, I cried for about 6 hours straight. I've talked to some of my good friends about it, and they've been great (except for my boyfriend, who responded "Well, that sounds a bit excessive!"). I had an extra session with my therapist today to talk about my grief process with this. I was feeling a little better, but now it feels like my grief is melding together with my depression, and I'm starting to feel very anxious and overwhelmed.

Has anyone else out there had to deal with losing a fabulous therapist? What helped?

[leacon]

I do not have any answers, but I know that I will probably be facing this within the next two years or so. I hope your therapist will refer you to someone else just as good.

[Rohag]

Hi, Garden Gal! I can't say I've had a fabulous therapist, one with whom I've formed a strong therapeutic bond, but I do have a great p-doc. I don't know now how I'll react to his eventual retirement, but, in advance of that day, I'm certainly going to discuss my veteran p-doc what type of notes and summary of my case he'll pass to whoever succeeds him. I DON'T want to have to start from square one all over again, tossing out a decade or more of work.

[SophiaG]

Maybe you can take comfort in knowing tha your fabulous therapist must know other fabulous therapists and that you'll be referred to one of them

[garden gal]

Thanks, everyone. It has been a week. I've been struggling with my therapist's upcoming retirement, and taking a grief and loss class that is triggering. I called my doctor's office asking about increasing my Zoloft yesterday. My doc is out of town, and the on-call psychiatrist who was covering apparently got very concerned about something, and insisted that I come to her office for an hour-long appointment first thing on Monday. Her nurse left me a voicemail saying that I have to go to the ER over the weekend if my symptoms increase. I'm worried that this doctor that I've never met is going to try to hospitalize me, which I don't think is necessary at this point. I know I can be stubborn about this kind of thing, but I think I'm pretty clear about what I need and don't need. And I have been asking for help: this week I saw my therapist twice, made some calls about therapy groups, and called about the med increase. I'm not sure what else I'm supposed to be doing!

Oh, and my lower back went out yesterday (which happens about once a year, usually when I'm stressed), and I am in a LOT of pain with that.

Anyway, thanks for listening.

[Fresia]

I lost one to retirement many years ago. I considered her my friend and ally; the grief and sorrow were rough. I've even been reminded again recently with loss that it makes it the time to take extra special care of self right now.

It sounds like you are doing exactly what you need to be doing, they may just be concerned. During the transition, she reminded me that the new person, though trained, would not know me yet even if they had her notes. Continue to present things honestly, precisely, and to be your own advocate, as always. It made for a smoother transition while trying to find the right fit and while struggling at the same time, not hiding it. I had to explain in more detail where I was coming from at that juncture so they had a clear picture. It adds to the frustration but beneficial in the end. She had given me 3 names for a referral; I interviewed all three; and the one has been a blessing ever since. Trust in his opinion and find who's right for you.

The loss is significant, hang in there! Hope you feel better soon!

I have had many therapists and have had to start over many times, a rather tedious process. Nonetheless, your therapist is going to retire. You are grieving. Please remember to give the new therapist a chance to get up to speed. In the interim working hard not to undo the good work you did with the retiree should a prerogative.

Good luck.