[DivideByZero]

I dont understand how people say suicide is the easy way out. It is intensely traumatizing to try to process suicidal ideation and make the decision to commit to life or to commit suicide. It is so lonely and scary.

Now that I have said that, what are the reasons that you commit to life and therapy and getting better? I need some inspiration to seize onto as I feel like a lot of my old inspirations are quickly falling through my fingers like sand and I cry inside when I see my partner and the hope that she has because I don't want to hurt her but I cant get over these ridiculous urges to die.

I need inspiration and I am trying to reach out. I would love to hear inspiring stories if you were suicidal and now you are better and doing well, that is how I think we can take this horrible topic and make it positive. (No stories of the pain that suicide causes, I think we are all acutely aware of that already.)

Thank you.

(((((DivideByZero)))))---i know that I found it incredibly hard to go on.....

Sometimes still do. But you are not alone here--check out some of the jokes, if you can, they help me tremendously--and just reading of others pain, and trying to reach out--though crippled (inside) myself- has helped me tremendously---------Hold on!!!--theo

[justme41]

What keeps me holding on is that things "have to get better" and that if I can figure out how to feel better maybe I can help others.
Sorry you are feeling this way.

[(JD)]

Knowing that the depression that promotes suicidal thinking, is flawed, can help. No one really wants to make such a big decision (as to whether to keep trying or not, to live or die) under flawed thinking.

Realizing truth rather than the lies depression tells, is difficult but beneficial. It's very hard to think rationally when in the throes of suicidal ideation, and thus the need for others to help.

You've felt better before, where you are at is not a permanent place, you can feel better as you have before.

The deepest spots of depression only feel like "forever" and "hopeless" when, in reality, the mood does improve and dive and improve and dive, not staying in the blackest black all the time.

With healing, the dark time becomes less long, and less often. You can heal if you stick around. If you don't stick around, then you shut off every good thing for your future life, not just the bad feelings.

It's important to distract ourselves away from the dark thoughts when they come. There feels like a drawing, a sucking down into the well sort of feeling, from depression. By refusing to engage the dark thoughts, and finding something to distract us away, we can begin to feel better even right then.

Depression has medical basis as well as psychological. Once you begin to fight the dark thoughts, and distract then you begin to change the chemicals in the brain that add to the depression, and then the brain begins to make chemicals that make you feel better. As the dark can be a vicious down swirling, so can the light become an upward spiraling to feel better.

You are loved.

[paddym22]

For me suicidal ideation was an automatic thought, by that I mean I was so used to thinking about suicide that it took over my thoughts and when things didnt go to plan or I felt low I automatically thought of suicide as a way to fix things.

I learnt to change my way of thinking using DBT and mindfulness meditation specifically. I found it extremely useful in this regard.

[LaCaBe]

This may sound simple, but putting a rubber band on your wrist is an old technique especially found useful to interrupt a thought or behavior. Every time you have that nowhere to go but out thought, snap your rubber band. It interrupts the thought. Think of an affirmation like.... I am a loving, worthwhile person... Obviously if we answered you, we understand how you feel and have felt this way.... just knowing that I'm not alone in that, helps.

[Alexandria04]

I don't understand when people say that suicide is selfish. When I was suicidal I didn't think I had any friends and my family didn't love me. If anything I thought I was doing was a favor to the world and the people in it. I definitely don't think I had any selfish thoughts, but that is a topic for another day...

I can't tell you exactly what you want to know. I know at the time I was very scared to commit suicide because I believed I would go to Hell. But after a while even that wasn't a deterrent as I remember very vividly thinking "Hell would be better than this." I don't think I made a conscious decision to go on with life, but I am glad that I decided to stick around as I soon met the man that was to become my husband. In a few years I moved out and married him and life has been so much better since. So I am very grateful that I didn't go through with it, even though I don't remember making a conscious decision to go on.

[2toomany]

The thing that keeps me going is knowing that suicide does NOT work. You can think about it, and I have also tried it, but the bottom line is it takes alot to be successfull at it. I think suicidal thoughts are just one way you can cope with your current situation. Deep down we all know there is no easy way out of this world.

I'm in that way of thinking often...........

BUT .........

Just WAIT a moment more,

AND.........

It goes away.......

THE GOAL: To Get Through The MOMENT

this too shall pass

[puzzclar]

I know it may seem like that right now, but give it some time, and things improve. I've thought of various things, and I'm very glad that I choose to get better, instead of anyother option. I've been down paths, that no one should go down, so please, stop where you are and choice to live, If you need to talk, I will and can be there for you. Good luck, and please choice as I did, TO LIVe, and Improve yourself.

hi.

im struggling with this right now.

my life is the closest thing you can get to being considered a "loser" -- no family, no friends, no education, no money, nothing (i was a foster kid and was kicked out with nothing and nowhere to go 2 years ago)

what keeps me from stopping? my dogs.
they sit here keeping me safe and love me unconditionally

suicide selfish? yes and no. yes because my dogs would probably be euthanized since they were strays; but no because no one would really care or miss me.

look for one thing and hold onto it. im holding on for my dogs.

P.S.

It's NOT that we Don't Want To Be Here!!!

It's That We Don't Want to FEEL in THIS WAY, so ...

JUST,

GET THROUGH THE MOMENT

Thanx for this conversation,
Starlite

[thine_self_untrue]

I don't want to live. I don't want to die. I want to not exsist. I do not think death will accomplish that, so I am still here.

[shezbut]

Reminding myself of the simple, innocent beautiful things in life help me through very dark times.

A flower blossom; leaf; tall weeds blowing in the wind; sound of waves; stars up in the sky shimmering; birds chirping; a stream trickling over rocks; etc.

Those are safe, positive thoughts for me to refer to whenever I need them. It works quite well! Gentle hugs to you.

[sanityseeker]

My son keeps me alive. I survived my mother's suicide and I would never burden my son that way. I live for him. Even though I think he would be better off without me I know he would never understand or accept that to be true. I live for him.

[sugahorse1]

If I'm feeling that way, I just got to sleep. Even if it means I have to disappear from work. Even if it means I have to take a sleeping tab. I've spoken to my pdoc about it, and she says that if it is a coping mechanism that I feel works, I should rather use it than commit suicide.
I do have a failed attempt behind me and managed to see the pain and hurt it caused. I lost a good few friends through it, I had rumours circling and it generally became hard for me to become a part again.
I also have come to realise that as a Bipolar, it is normal to go through episodes. And a depressive episode only has a limited lifespan - there will be sunshine after the rain. I just need to be patient. Try and understand that you have a purpose in this life - if you haven't found it (Even just partially) take some time out to understand yourself and find love for yourself.
Maybe keep a journal of the things you have achieved and are proud of. Read through this when you are feeling low, and you will realise just how important you are.

I'm glad for this thread
Reading others posts has helped me over
several difficult days, as of late.
Thanx everyone for sharing

[SophiaG]

I collect inspirational quotes. They make me feel better. Maybe this is something you should do as well

"if we have the nerve to look, we can see in any face our own vulnerability."

- Dean Koontz

"a sign of a psychologically mature person is the ability to see that any one situation isnt wholly negative."

- Dean Koontz

“"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”

"For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person's life at a given moment. "

-Dr. Viktor E. Frankl

[quote=DivideByZero;1373031]I dont understand how people say suicide is the easy way out. It is intensely traumatizing to try to process suicidal ideation and make the decision to commit to life or to commit suicide. It is so lonely and scary.

Now that I have said that, what are the reasons that you commit to life and therapy and getting better? I need some inspiration to seize onto as I feel like a lot of my old inspirations are quickly falling through my fingers like sand and I cry inside when I see my partner and the hope that she has because I don't want to hurt her but I cant get over these ridiculous urges to die.

I need inspiration and I am trying to reach out. I would love to hear inspiring stories if you were suicidal and now you are better and doing well, that is how I think we can take this horrible topic and make it positive. (No stories of the pain that suicide causes, I think we are all acutely aware of that already.)


Thank you so much for this Post!!!

A lot of meaningful, sincere things have been shared.
I count myself lucky to have been one who is able to use others words for comfort in my times of pain.

Thank you.

[BleakHouse]

Solarwind,

I thoroughly empathize with your situation and tell you that your pain is felt by by anyone who reads your words. I want your pain to stop as much I want mine to. I have 3 kitties, but my hold on them is getting slippery. I hope that your grip strength is stronger than mine.

All my heart goes out to you.

[rawwar]

Yesterday I called a suicide lifeline. I talked to the person who answered for an hour. It really did help. I'm still kind of pissed that I'm here, but I do know this will all pass someday. But if I started having strong suicidal urges again, I would definitely call again rather than looking for the means to act on my urges. If nothing else,talking gave me some time to allow the moment to pass which is often all we need.

DivideByZero, you have to decide what makes life important. What are your values. What are the important things you must have for a meaningful life. Money? A good job? A loving wife? Children? Is success more important than spending more time with your family?

Making a life for yourself is not easy. You may not get all you want. But to decide what kind of person you want to be (values) and go after the things that are important to you goes a long way towards making you feel good about yourself.

I do not care what label is put on suicide. Each of us will meet out maker.