[TVD09]

I'm 21 year old female and my parents won't work with me to get my license is there anything I can do legally? I just can't take it anymore they are destroying my life and career. I've done nothing to deserve this, I don't get in any trouble I have great grades and work hard in college, but of course if they don't feel like taking me to school, then it hurts my grades bad. I've been left outside in a parking lot for 40mins stranded when they're late at night alone. They treat me so bad and do the most bizarre things. They never would do this to their other kids. I just need help how do I get it without them? I really just need some practice and to take my test. Please help me I don't know what I can do she's set me up to fail at everything I do.

[shaggy dog]

Hi TVD09, It sounds like you would be happier with a little more independence. Is there any reason why they won't let you get your license on your own? Are there any bus lines that go past your school so you won't be stranded? Can you take a drivers education class in your area so you can get practice for the driving test? I think it is rotten that you are treated worse that their other kids. shaggy

[Rapunzel]

They probably don't have to let you drive their car, but they have no right to stop you from getting a license and your own car. Is there anyone who will let you use a car to get some practice if you need it?

My parents didn't let me learn to drive when other kids learned in school. At 17, I saved up and paid for private driving school, and got my license. I didn't have a car for some years after that, until I got married, but I got out of my parents' house (out of state, actually) and went to college where I was able to walk to my classes from my apartment and got by without a car.

My sister is 36 and still lives at home and didn't learn to drive. She has some of the same problems you do - having to wait for a ride, and not having a job or career due to lack of confidence and lack of reliable transportation. It would be pretty hard for her to get out, but if you are determined you can find a way. Sometimes you might need some help from a friend or mentor, and that is ok.

The job of parents is to help children to grow up into independent adults. Some parents don't accept that and don't willingly let go. That makes it hard. They may even seem like caring, protective people, and they probably are, but it still isn't ok for them not to give you the chance to live your life as the adult you were meant to become. Legally, they can't make you stay with them. They might not help you, but plenty of people have made it into adulthood without supportive parents. You can do it too. Find someone who is willing to give you the support that you need, and do what you can for yourself.

Legally, I don't know what action you would want to try. But you might look into government or community services such as vocational rehabilitation for some help and support. Voc Rehab can get you into driving lessons and get you someone to help you learn whatever you need to.

[SophiaG]

Yeah I have my license right now, but I still dont have a car yet and I'm 21.

I can relate *hug*

[Lisa Michelle]

I'm 21 year old female and my parents won't work with me to get my license is there anything I can do legally?

Well, legally you're an adult so yes, you can get your license without their 'permission', however if this causes conflict in the house then I'm not sure what your best option is. Do your parents realise you can choose what you do? As long as you respect house rules, like cleaning up and being respectful etc then I don't see why they would want to stop you from doing anythiing out of the house, especially something as normal as driving!
That being said, I know how you feel to an extent. I'm 25 and thus far have never been able to afford to get lessons (nevermind buy a car lol). I know it opens a lot of possibilities to you when you drive. But you can also get around without it, if you like in a city for instance.

I would just suggest a proper conversation with your parents about expectations, they surely want to keep you safe but have to accept you're an adult and are able to make your own decisions now, even if they are wrong! But don't expect your parents to just buy your lessons for you, perhaps they can't afford it or think you should work yourself to get it?
Good luck!

[TVD09]

I've never done anything wrong for them to not help me. They make a different excuse why each time when it comes up, but they sure do have plenty of time to watch tv. There prob are bus lines where I go to school but I don't think they would take me home because I live in a small town. I want to take a few driving lessons, but I don't have the money because I can't get a real job yet. If I could just get past the license issue I think I could get my own car. Can you tell me more about the Vocational rehab stuff? thank you everyone!

[dcs_no1_fan]

Hun if you want to drive then do so they can not stop you they do not even need to know that you are doing lesson's just tell them that your going out & will be back later your an adult live your life how you want to you need to have your independance

Cat
xxx

[Rapunzel]

Vocational rehabilitation is a service offered by state governments in the U.S. with a lot of federal funding. All of the U.S. states have it, and many other countries have similar programs. You can find it in the phone book under your state government offices, or search online. I don't know what state you live in, but here's a general search for vocational rehabilitation:

http://www.google.com/search?q=vocat...ient=firefox-a

Call the nearest office and ask for information. To qualify you for services, they would need to establish that you have a disability that keeps you from being as successful as you could be at employment. Disabilities can be anything - depression, anxiety, addiction, physical limitations, chronic illnesses, etc. If you are living with parents who don't support you in becoming independent and successful, you are bound to have something that qualifies. They can provide treatment for the disability, pay for education and training, and provide the supports and accommodations that you need.