[silentwhisper]

I am tired of all the pretending to be ok...of trying so hard and it never being good enough...of people threatening to call 911 when I am not even suicidal...i have not attempted in years but people just cannot put the past in the past like they tell us to do all the time...i just need a place to feel depressed and overwhelmed without people freakin out

[Elana05]

Hi silentwhisper,

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling down. Have you ever found a therapy group?

You can always vent here.

Sending you good wishes.

E

Hello silentwhisper,

You can always post here whenever you feel the need to. We are here to listen.

[silentwhisper]

Originally Posted by Elana05

Hi silentwhisper,

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling down. Have you ever found a therapy group?

You can always vent here.

Sending you good wishes.

E

I have not found a group irl but I am looking. I don't have insurance and getting into county health is a multiple attempt kinda job.
Thank you for listening and for the good wishes.

[silentwhisper]

Originally Posted by melissa.recovering

Hello silentwhisper,

You can always post here whenever you feel the need to. We are here to listen.

ty so much for listening

[Homo Sapien]

Ugh! I know exactly how you feel! You absolutely have the right to feel the entire spectrum of emotions. As melissa mentioned, you're more than welcome to post here any time, about anything. Here, you can be as depressed and word down as you like, and there will always be someone who understands. I'm always here if you need a friend. I hope you can make this place a sanctuary of sorts.

[silentwhisper]

Originally Posted by Homo Sapien

Ugh! I know exactly how you feel! You absolutely have the right to feel the entire spectrum of emotions. As melissa mentioned, you're more than welcome to post here any time, about anything. Here, you can be as depressed and word down as you like, and there will always be someone who understands. I'm always here if you need a friend. I hope you can make this place a sanctuary of sorts.

Thank you. I am finding this a sanctuary already. I just don't get why people think you are going to attempt suicide whenever you feel down just because you have in the past. I have not attempted in years and my pdoc and I have gotten to the place where I can tell him I am feeling unsafe and he will call the hospital and let me in voluntarily without going through er protocal. When people say sounds like we need to call 911, I feel threatened and I haven't done anything nor do I plan on doing anything. Sheesh. I even have a job interview soon.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Silentwhisper!

Originally Posted by silentwhisper

Needing a place to just be...

I love your thread title! Yes, it's wonderful to have such a place where you don't have to pretend or act.

Are the people who jump at 911 at all educable regarding the difference between depressed mood and suicidality?

[silentwhisper]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Hello & Welcome, Silentwhisper!

I love your thread title! Yes, it's wonderful to have such a place where you don't have to pretend or act.

Are the people who jump at 911 at all educable regarding the difference between depressed mood and suicidality?

I wish I knew. Luckily they were just threatening. Thing is I have been labeled high risk so they can take me in first and ask questions later. But again I feel I must reiterate that I am not suicidal nor have I had an attempt in years but some labels seem impossible to make disappear. I am depressed and overwhelmed. Money is extremely tight and daughter has a brain cyst and needs drs and medicines and we are so fortunate to somehow make too much for healthcare programs but not enough to really pay for all these visits and tests and medicines and such, but it is so hard as she has been in lots of pain lately. I don't know what to do. I feel helpless but that does not mean I am planning to take myself out of the equation. I promise so why can't I just feel depressed and work through this instead of feeling I need to just make myself better??????????? sigh. Thanks for letting me vent.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((((((((((((((silentwhisperer))))))))))))))))

[silentwhisper]

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

((((((((((((((((silentwhisperer))))))))))))))))

i needed those hugs this morning...so thank you

[silentwhisper]

I feel terrible inside today. I want a friend and peace so badly.

[Butterflyangel]

I like your thread tittle to. Cause we all need a place. I like it here. alot of good people here. cause we are all usually on that. Ups and downs all the time. This is a good place for understanding.

[silentwhisper]

I feel so very lost. Hubby reminded me I need to take the kids to the library as we do not want any fines. I said I needed gas for my car before I could do anything. He just looked at me and left I do not know what I am going to do. It is like he is setting me up to just take money, which then could have even more negative ramifications. Is there a place I truly can just be and still belong??

[justjoanie]

(((((((((((silentwhisperer))))))))))))))
You have found just such a place. We all know what it's like to need to have that time of letting go. To allow yourself to wallow a bit, and just be depressed.
And we are also here for you when you need help getting back up.
Keep us posted on how your doing.

[silentwhisper]

I am just not sleeping. I feel almost desperate...for sleep, for peace, for love. I mean it kinda boils down to that. I do not feel loved. I want so badly to be loved for who I am yet how can I be when noone wants to get to know me.

[fade2blue]

Originally Posted by silentwhisper

I am tired of all the pretending to be ok...of trying so hard and it never being good enough...of people threatening to call 911 when I am not even suicidal...i have not attempted in years but people just cannot put the past in the past like they tell us to do all the time...i just need a place to feel depressed and overwhelmed without people freakin out

Hi silentwhisper, you have come to the right place. We are all looking for a place where we feel free to be ourselves, and simply be accepted as such. Likely many of us have the same feelings of depression and feeling overwhelmed, and can understand the frustration it sounds like you are feeling when people don't understand. It must be difficult for them if they don't go through the same struggles we do. But you are okay, and have people in here who are willing to listen, so feel free to share whatever you would like to.

[silentwhisper]

I am crying. I am not suppose to be but I am. I want to be real and without all the baggage of the past. I want to be the teen I once was and grow up from there. I do not want to live Dawn's life. I want my own.

[silentwhisper]

I really have to wonder if this is a place for me to just be. Maybe my just being is not good enough. Maybe I do not know how to just be without hurting others. Perhaps Mom and all the others are right: I am poison.

[silentwhisper]

I have tried telling my family how I feel, but noone seems to understand. It is like since I can talk about it I must be ok. Is that true? I do not feel ok.

[silentwhisper]

I wish my family understood me, but they do not. They just heap on the guilt!!!!!

[wanttotalk]

I used to think of myself as the great pretender. Not so good at it anymore. Feeling for you.