[SavvySpirit]

My husband works a traveling job. He gets to come home to me for a week break every six weeks. I miss him a lot during the time he's gone, obviously, but we've been doing this for so long that it doesn't really seem bad anymore.

My problem is that he's really starting to hate the job. He hates being away from me, and it obviously puts a strain on our relationship. Lately, he's hated his job so much, that he's been unhappy all the time. My husband, who I've had the pleasure of knowing my whole life, is the most optimistic person I know. NOTHING brings him down, nothing can ruin his day if it's a good one, and they usually are. But for the past week or so, he's been in a bad mood all the time. I try to talk to him about it, but then I just get frustrated and depressed because I don't know how to deal with it. I come from a family where emotional issues were not talked about, and not dealt with in any way, so I grew up not knowing how to react to strong emotions like sadness, pain and love. It used to be that he would get sad every once in awhile, but if I showed him tons of love, he would bounce right back and be my happy husband again. But for the past week, no matter how sweet I am, how loving, how supportive, nothing works. It's very hard for me to deal with my depression on a day to day basis, as I'm sure you all know with your own experiences. So it's very hard for me to deal with his also. And I know it hurts him that I can't deal with his, because he's ALWAYS here for me, he always listens to my problems and helps me feel better. I feel like a complete failure because I can't even return the favor for him. And sometime he mentions that; he says that it gets tiring because I'm allowed to have bad days all the time, but the one time he has a bad day, I freak out. I don't mean to freak, I just get frustrated, sad and scared. I'm scared that one of these times, our relationship is going to get seriously damaged because of my lack of ability to care for him when he's down.

So if any of you have advice/support/suggestions, thank you very much!

[Rohag]

Hi, SavvySpirit!

Personal Perspective: Love and cherish, but it's not your responsibility to cure. I say this as a depressed husband married a normal, wonderful woman, for whom I'm grateful every hour.