What a week

<font color="purple">Things really do spiral out of control once in a while don't they?
My best friend (who lives a couple states away) called the other morning in tears and barely coherent. It seems her friend/pastor committed suicide. Leaving behind a wife, children and a number of friends and family members who just do not understand. Of course the 'story' is sad in and of itself but being that my friend and I are more like sisters, her pain hit me pretty damn hard too. I am not there for her physically but I'm trying to be there emotionally. It just doesn't feel like enough. I'm a fixer, I want to fix this for her, for his family, to make things better. It's hard as hell not being able to do anything.
Then theres the fact that I've been a wreck all damn week. Getting angry and frustrated and aggrivated and pretty much every other unpleasant thing you can think of - why? Who knows. I just am. I want to crawl into bed, hang a "Don't bother the misanthrope" sign on the door and not get up until ... well a really, really long time. My husband's driving me insane, the kids are driving me insane, my job's driving me insane - all the usual 'bull' - but it's just too much for me right now. I am not happy with the way my life is going. I'm trying to make some changes (upping doses on meds, seeing therapist, looking for another job) - but I still feel stuck. It seems like I've been trying to make things better for a really long time and I'm just friggen tired.
Then yesterday I get a call from my mother who tells me that my 20 year old cousin died of an overdose early that morning. 20 years old. Gone. Unbelievable. I'm going into numb stage. I just cannot deal with any more for awhile. I'm going back to bed. Wake me next year will ya?</font>

<font color="#000088">Chic</font>

Wow. all that does sound overwhelming. I'm so sorry about your cousin and all the situations going on in your life. HUGSSSSS Do you have an impartial friend that you can vent with. Keep talking to us.

(((((chick))))))) I'm really sorry about these two really sad deaths. I hope you and your friend pull through this together. Sometimes all you can do is be available by phone, computer and US mail when someone lives so far away.
You and your family are going through a very tough time. I'll send a prayer out for you. Try to stay strong and don't be afraid to cry if you need to. Again, I'm really very sorry this is going on in your life.

Sleep will help you filter as you can. I am so sorry for all that is happening. Sleep. Sleep until you no longer can.

((((chic)))) I'm sorry you need psychcentral, but glad you found us. Yes, "when it rains, it pours" TC

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<font color="#000088">Thank you all for the hugs and support. Saw the therapist today. Gave me some things to think about. We'll see how it all goes I guess. I'm getting ready to go to my cousin's showing now. Wish me luck, please. Take Care.

Chic </font>