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#1
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I'm not normally on this forum but I Just need to vent. I don't care who reads this or what they thing. (Or at least I don't think I do) I had the Doc decrease one med, and now it just has tumbled into the wrong direction. I was happy last week, wanted to do things last week. This week I want to denie that i even exist. I want to denie what is happening in just a few days. I want to denie that I"m even writing this.............. I'm stressed out.... I don't know what to do.... This weather is drving me nuts... being with my parents is driving me nuts.... I want to live on my own, I want to have a T and a real Pdoc instead of just a general MD. I want to stop feeling like this. I think I'm ready to just let this go... but i'm not even sure what I need to let go of? I want to play my instruments but half the week I can with out waking up my dad in the next room over and the other half I can play at any time........ I'm scared of moving twice with in a months time. I need to feel like I can connect to real people but i just can't make the connections. I'm fustrated. and confused all at the same time. How can this be. How can I do this. Should i just increase the meds to feel better. and then tell the doc. I have enough.. I can self medicate if I have to... to do better. All i have to do is take two of them... but will that help me to improve. I don't know. I don't even know if i care enough to improve. I'm surrounded by boxes.... I'm surrounded by mixed emotions... I'm surrounded by things I once loved and now can't seem to do. I just want this to end. all these feelings... I want to feel like myself.... I want to self medicate to feel 100% better. I want to be me again so I can go back to school with confidince. and I just had to vent in order to get over this. I think it's time to improve instead of digress. I want to be me again......... Sorry but I just had to vent. get it out of my system for once. and I want some one that cares to really respond by reaching out and helpingme. and making it so I feel like I can get help again. I'm in hot water....
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#2
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Quote:
What do you mean? Has your doctor given you permission to increase your dose if you feel it's necessary (that's my arrangement with my pdoc)? Here's hoping the hot water cools a bit...
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#3
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Well, I might any way even without his permission. Just want releif.
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