Anhedonia - loss of the will to seek and enjoy activities

I find that the worst part of my depression is anhedonia. I don't remember what it is to feel joy. The funny thing is, a traditional depression scale would probably not even register me as being depressed since my other symptoms are under control. It is fairly recent that this symptom has received recognition again. It is one of the main factors in treatment resistant depression. Mine is definitely treatment resistant.

I find it hard to get motivated to get out of the house to do anything, even if it is something that might be fun. I have lost interest in my marriage. I have had trouble trying to just take care of myself. I have a lovely three year old daughter. It affects my relationship with her since it is hard for me to get out and do things with her. Even doing things at home with her is hard. Almost everything seems like a struggle. I usually find it easy to make friends. I just don't keep a connection with people.

The thing is, I don't feel sad per se. It's like I'm just "here". I feel like everyday is just a struggle. When I get out and do something, it almost always is better than I expected. It's just like I have a 10 ton weight bearing down on me and my life. I wish I could have joy again. The treatment I have read is one of the few that works on anhendia well is ECT. Also Welbutrin and other dopamine related meds help some people with this symptom. It doesn't seem to make a big difference for me. So much for therapy (CBT etc) or meds. Anybody else feel this way? Anybody find some ways to deal with it. Ironically, one treatment is to socialize more, take more risks, and just get out more. It's just like I am frozen though.

((((Shadow Wraith))))

Anhedonia - for me it means remembering what I used to like but not caring. Difficult for relationships, work and even personal care - getting cavities-

Slowly getting some joy back, but could be here one day and gone the next and become a distant memory again.

Your observation that not all defining factors for depression heal at the same rate. I still have no energy, but color vision came back.
Like you I did not feel sad, and thinking about doing anything is as tiring as doing it, a heavy burden.

hope you find your burden eases soon
G1

I believe I have anhedonia also. I get envious of other people that I think are actually enjoying life. But maybe they're not either... Being "content" is a foreign concept to me.

Z

I can relate to this because I have dysthymia, which is a kind of chronic joylessness. I think this is an often overlooked aspect of depression. And it's often overlooked in treatment too. Because joylessness is not a crisis in and of itself. And treatment often tends to focus on acute symptoms. Whereas dysthymia - and I'm guessing anhedonia too - is chronic (long-term).

I wish I had some answers. Treatment-resistant anything is really tough. And treatment-resistant depression/dysthymia/anhedonia seems to receive very little attention. On the outside, my life looks great. There is very little "wrong" with my external situation, so there isn't anything much concrete to work on. And I can function up to a point. People who know me superficially probably wouldn't guess that I'm depressed. I do try and continue doing things. But, so often, there is no real enjoyment. I'm just going through the motions. And I don't know how to change that. I've tried lots of anti-depressants and I've had lots of therapy. I exercise a lot and do other things that are supposed to be mood boosters. I do have good days, but I have many more joyless days. I do think it's important to keep pushing ourselves to do stuff. But I also know how difficult that is. I honestly don't know what else to try, but I'm going to keep trying! Sorry this isn't more helpful! I just wanted to say that I can relate!!

Wishing you all the best (((((((((Shadow Wraith))))))))))

Sundog says it all. I wish I knew how to make myself feel better.

aaah, seeking after pleasure is greatly over rated, anyway. live as if you mean it.... Gus

i googled your condition and one of the things they suggest that one can do to relieve this is to take risks to avoid the persistant fear of pleasure. to me it would appear that you are fearful of anything that gives you any sense of joy or meaning. you said it yourself when u stated when you got out u usually enjoyed yourself more than u expected. those are the times you are willing to take a risk in spite of your fears. so imho i would suggest you try to take those risks, even if they are baby steps. i have a similar condition and i go to like a mall with no purpose other than to be out. i have no plans to buy anything cause anything i try or plan to do causes anxiety. so i just walk around and look, see people, to get outside of myself. it takes a lot of courage but like you when i get outside of myself it usually lifts me up. later i learned how to go to barnes and nobles, i do like to read, and sit down with some books to leaf thru. i make myself stay there for a while. it helps. to de-sensitize myself i often just get out in my yard-safe place-and then the next day take a short walk, etc. i'd say try not to expect anything. this could ease the pressure of trying to lift your mood. just do it.
i'm sorry you are experiencing this lack of enjoyment. you're correct in that meds can only minimally help this condition so i conclude we need to take risks that make us fearful to override the lack of wanting to do anthing or finding any pleasure doing it. oops, did i talk myself in a circle
anyway this is what i read so to speak in layman's terms: overcome the fear of pleasure by taking risks.

madisgram

This is an interesting perspective, for me, I do not think anhedonia is a fear of pleasure, my experience as someone who is getting out of depression, it really is a lack of feeling, the best i could do was remember i enjoyed something, but that was not enough to tend to my business, pay bills, etc. I lived for my business and no amount of will power or pills could open me up to my joys. It is gone.

Example:

last fall I went for a walk along the river, the air was perfect, hint of fallen leaves creating aromatherapy, most leaves on trees with great color, blue sky, the river clear mountain fed river green/blue, the grass was still green, the heat of the sun was perfect, I was with a friend.

Normally as a nature person i would be 'smitten' with the rare perfect day in my city, trying to soak up every color, scent etc but I was just an outsider and did not feel any conection to the pleasure that would normally be sparked with such a picture perfect day.
today is sky is blue and the temp is 24 F, wish I was in Florida, but as we say here even when it is -40, at least the sun is shining. (just an aside as I looked up your information madisgram)

If you watch the link below for the first 7 minutes or more if you have time there is a great defintion of depression and anhedonia. The entire lecture is full of information and the professor is a great speaker.



My hope is that what I remembered that brought joy is still there and will be there when I am healed.
I am starting somedays to find my joy of learning, just my memory and my energy are not up to the task.

I make a point to do as much as I can within my energy levels, to honor what is going on for me each day. I am now up to 5 hours a day. Even if i do not enjoy the activity.
G1