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Member
Member Since Sep 2010
Posts: 147
14 |
Jan 02, 2011 at 04:20 PM
#1
A new year. Everyone makes a big deal.
New years should come with reset buttons. Start over. There's never such thing as a clean slate or a real second chance. I need that reset button. I love this city, but I can't deal with it anymore. I love my country but I want to jump on a plane and just get out of this place, and this is coming from someone who isn't in love with change. I love my friends, I love my own family, and I know how twisted and selfish it is to say this; but I wish I could just reset it all sometimes. Be reborn somewhere else. Just reset my own life. I just want to restart everything. I feel like I keep trying to change my life but there's only so much I can try to change when I'm stuck carrying my life. Does that make sense? I don't know. I don't know what I want. I just feel like everything is gnawing at me, gnawing and gnawing and I don't know what direction is up sometimes. I find myself trying to retreat from a reality I cannot change more and more into the books I read and the games I play. I need a reset button. |
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Magnate
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 2,065
16 3 hugs
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Jan 02, 2011 at 05:16 PM
#2
I understand. It makes sense. Resetting is that deep breath you need... looking at things through fresh eyes. It gets tiring when you're stuck in a life that you're not particularly happy with, trying to 'cope' or change things.
I hope this year is easier for you, SM __________________ Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,635
14 |
Jan 02, 2011 at 05:20 PM
#3
I relate to what you wrote. I often want a "do-over", as we said as kids in play. Maybe that's a New York thing. I feel like my life is a train wreck, and it's been de-railed for so long, decades, that there's no getting back on track. It's been suggested not to use the past as a predictor of the future, but it's hard not to. I also want to walk away from my house (that and my dog are the only anchors or responsibilities in my life) and go somewhere else and start over. I know geographic cures usually don't work, and I'd be taking my mind with me. I just want a fix or at least a break from this grinding depression. Over 30+ years, I've tried so many things - therapies, meds. It's been getting worse over the past few years. It's hard to stop comparing to people with husbands, kids, money, lives. The comparing makes me feel so much worse. I'm just rambling.
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Member
Member Since Sep 2010
Posts: 147
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Jan 03, 2011 at 12:13 PM
#4
Why have over 300 people viewed this
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,143
14 59 hugs
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Jan 03, 2011 at 12:21 PM
#5
It totally makes sense. Before I got married, I wanted to get out of my home country (Germany), no matter where to, and start over, "reset" my life. Well, I got married and did leave my country (now live in the US), but my problems followed me. I'm still a mess, I'm still lonely. I wish it was possible to reset your life. All in all my life is not that awful, it's just me, and I can't reset myself. I can't change anything that really would make a difference.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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