Rejection and no family. :(

I have no family, they have disowned me cause I was homeless for sometime a year ago. I am greatly struggling with that (I have PTSD cause of it)
I asked to move home when I become homeless, they said no that I would "cramp their style".
I asked if I could live in a tent in their back yard, they said hell no.
I always bent back wards for them so many times in the past. I am quiet, never ever caused trouble, I have always loved them but still they did not allow me to move home. They abandon me, they hate me, I am the biggest mistake to them, they would rather pretend that I was never born.
I have not heard from my brother in 10 years, I have no other family.
I have one only friend, who brags about how great her dad is and he does not care too much about me cause I am not of blood relation, he said that. My only friend see's that her dad is the best and will not see how he does not really care for me.
I am not married, so I have no in-law support. I have never been married and I feel that I am too old for marriage cause most people my age are already taken.
I have been unemployed for over a year cause I am so scared of people (I have had many bad encounters with them, mostly rejection) it causes panic attacks for me plus with my depression. I love sleeping, it is my escape from the reality of how people reject me especially my own family.
I ask myself why am I still here on earth. I hate being alive a lot of times.
I have nothing, I feel so alone, I have no family to love me. Even with my only friend I feel that I am just here to say what she wants to hear like how great her dad is, when in reality he is like most everyone else is to me, a person who rejects me.
The biggest rejection in my life is how my family disowned me. Where as with my only friend her father loves her dearly and is always worried about her well being and talks to her daily.
Living is so hard especially when there is no one.
What I want to know is if there is anyone who has gone through this? Is there anyone who has no family? How did you deal with it? What is your advice?
Thank you in advance for any kind advice that you may have.

My family is a fair weather family... If I am stable and they need something they are there but otherwise they are not around. My dad doesn't even know my phone number or where I live, he has to ask his mother.
I have also been homeless, it sucks. I was working while I was homeless but not making enough money to have a place to live. Now I have a place to live but have not worked in 5 years.
anyway, I am around if you need someone to talk to.

Clouds, I can relate to your situation. I've never been married, feel I'm too old, and have a lot of shame about being single all my life. I always wanted a good man in my life. I have no family either. One brother, adopted before I was born, lives a few hours away, but never wants to see me. He calls once in a while, often sounding high. My parents are deceased. Other relatives aren't interested in contact. I haven't worked in 6 years. I'm on disability. It's terribly hard. I'm responsible for my tiny house, my big dog, and everything is on my shoulders to deal with alone, with no money. I really understand the pain. The life circumstances make the mood disorders worse. I go to occasional adult children meetings, though there's been no alcohol in my family. I go for the contact and support. I do have a few friends, but they're not that available, and I hate burdening them with my problems. Not having enough support and social contact drives me crazy. Guess I'm not much help here.

I never see my family. Haven't seen my dad since 2003. He live in another state. My mom lives nearby but she has her own life. Aunts and Cousins never call me. I feel alone. I've never married. I am in a relationship. I have on child. I am all she has since I don't see my family. I learned that sometime you have to choose your family when the one your born with isn't supportive. This is hard because I am so shy and I tend to isolate.
I have felt so depressed that I felt I couldn't go on. I've been depressed since I was a child. Are you on any Meds? Do you have a therapist?
I hope you are feeling better soon.

Hi dear Clouds ~ I can understand your pain. My parents are both dead now. But all during my growing up years and in adulthood, never do I remember my parents telling me they loved me, they never hugged me, I never got a pat on the back for a job well done, i.e. good grades in school, or for a performance in a school play, nothing. Us kids were just "there." We were like a piece of furniture. Tell us to move every now and then, and that was it. Naturally, all of us are pretty screwed up ~ all of us have depression at LEAST.

I've worked hard to forgive my parents. It finally dawned on me one day. My parents gave ME what THEY were given. How could they give me something they didn't HAVE?? Their parents didn't give them the love that i wanted ~ so they couldn't give ME any. They didn't know HOW.

Perhaps it's the same with yours. Perhaps they have certain quirks that they can't help. Perhaps they've just not been given the parenting skills that they needed to care for you. That doesn't make them evil people ~ they're just 'ignorant' of what parenting is all about.

I wish you the very best. I wish I could help you more. Prayers are being sent your way ~ God bless you. Hugs, Lee

i have not gone through the things you have. But i want you to know that i hear what you are saying and i care.
Its terrible to think that families can treat their own this way.
But you should not give up on life, there are decent people out there, who will stand by you no matter what. I hope you keep posting, reaching out is good.
Xx

Thank you to everyone, each and every one of your stories broke my heart. You all also gave me some great advice in which I am very appreciative of.
God bless.

Hi, I am emotional ninja. Read my profile for my background and I think you will see there are worse things than family that ignore you. In my adult life (starting at 19, I'm 59 now) I have taken in countless people who had no where else to go. Some were friends, some acquaintances. Every one of them took advantage of me. Would I do the same again? You bet. Every human being has a right to expect help from his or her fellow beings. I am genuinely sorry about your family, however, I'm sorry to say I have seen their like more times than I can count. I have a young man living with me now for a very similar reason. I had not had contact with him in 15 years, but when I found out his situation I immediately sent him a bus ticket to come stay with me. I live on disability and things are tight, but we manage. I am so sorry there was no one there to do the same for you. Congratulations on surviving. You should be very proud of yourself. I would be proud to count you as a member of my family. If I can be of any help on line please let me know. Keep fighting the good fight!