What's the point? I try so hard to pretend to mum, yet she doesn't understand why I don't want to talk to her. She just doesn't understand and thinks I'm just attention seeking or something I no she does, plus I don't want her to no I want everything to be back to normal. I hate that they care, I wish they didnt then I would have no problem telling them because I wouldn't have to worry about hurting them. I'm sick of being so messed up, i just want to be me again! I feel so empty and nothingness and badness I hate it so much. But I'm torn between wanting to give up and end it all, but then I think of my family and friends and how much I've already hurt them that I can't hurt them like that again. There's no escaping it. I'm considering leaving, walking away and never looking back. Then they don't have to deal with me being like this, or put up with this person who even I don't no anymore. I don't feel like a person anymore, I just can't see a point - I mean we're all going to die in the end aren't we? What's the point in dragging out the inevitable and allow ourselves to believe we have a point or that we are worth something? Because one day we won't even be remembered by anybody will we? What's the point in dealing with these feelings and trying to get past it when it keeps coming back and AHHH I just feel so trapped and small and worthless. I don't no what to do! I just want to be me again! Why oh what did I do wrong?

Hello, Jess95. Sometimes getting better requires making your own well-being the top priority. Asking for help is scary. Even so, you will not get better without some changes.

Please believe you are am important person who needs some help now.

Good luck.

[Rohag]

Hello, Jess95!

Originally Posted by Jess95

...what did I do wrong?

Depression doesn't need a "wrong" to grasp in order to invade your life.

You ask serious questions worthy of deep reflection. Your depressed state, however, skews your sight. Hold on to those questions -- they're important, and seek help for your current agonies.

May you go on to rise above your torment and start to find answers to your questions, and, on the way, may you find yourself.

Thankyou, I was in some crazy bad mood when I wrote that :L thanks again for being supportive ~ jess.

[Elley]

Jess I know how you feel, I too don't like to talk to my parents because I hate to see them worry so much. I feel guilty for messing it up for all of us. But you need someone to talk to, even if it's just a doctor or someone. It's horrible forcing yourself to talk to someone, but afterwards I can guarantee that you'll feel better. Message me anytime