single

Sadly, i'm in a really low place, My partner of 6 years just said enough is enough. Says my "mental disability" is not allowing us to move forward, and he thinks he would be better off by himself. So I'm really depressed. Haven't got any coping skills, guess I will learn.

What a blow! I'm sorry, ChandlerT660.

Even for someone free of mental illness, the loss of a long-term relationship is a serious, adverse life-event (pardon the jargon). Please go easy on yourself.

So sorry to hear that, chandler! I exacerbated my current depression when hubby advised me on father's day that he was leaving me after 12 years of marriage. He said he had planned it for months, and just waited till after my arthroscopic knee surgery so he could take care of me thru that. It was awful! I went thru days of crying, etc. and was nearly suicidal. Only thing that kept me going was we had things planned where we might be together and he was coming back for those. So I never told anyone but one close friend what happened. He said as he was leaving he might be back, which gave me hope. But I was in a really dark place, which you must be.

I do still love him, and he did come back. Found out he had a girlfriend on the side he was writing to online--in another state--yep, you guessed it! Where he moved! We are going for couples counseling now. Therapist assigned to me only saw most of my issues surrounded hubby and brought him in. Hubby apparently has conflict phobia and was running away instead of dealing with me honestly. We are learning to work together on things. All of this would not be possible if he hadn't returned, so that doesn't relate to you really right now. But I have grown to the point where I see him as he is with many flaws, not idealized as I did before he left. And I'm at the point where sometimes I'm not sure if I want him--I think sometimes he is just using me and telling me what I want to hear, not what he really feels.

Relationships only seem to work out well when each of you chooses the other one, seeing both the good points and the faults. I keep going back to the statement, "No relationship is better than a bad relationship". You may feel like you lost something you wanted. Six years is quite a long time. You will get a better perspective on your loss in time. Probably hard to see clearly right now, as you are hurting too much and need to grieve over your loss. You might post in the relationships forum too--different people probably read that and they may have some good perspective or hints to help you. Collect a few more hugs from PCers, at least.

My heart goes out to you, dear! Relationships ARE possible, even if you have mental health issues. My schizophrenic, bipolar sister has had a stable marriage for 30 years! I am working things thru with hubby; a psychic told me she saw a long and happy future for us. But it takes someone who is worth you. Who can be understanding and loving and accepting and see the good qualities you have and work with the others, just as you work with his. Hugs to you!