[garden gal]

I haven't posted for a while... thought I'd write a quick update. My depression has been sort of under control lately (which for me means that my symptoms are moderate instead of severe... never have been able to completely shake it.) I just started a new depression group that I'm hopeful about. I'm on a new med and some supplements that seem to be helping some. While there are things in my life that are going OK, I am feeling frustrated that I'm still in the same job that I don't like (that I've been in for 5 years)... and still haven't been able to finish my graduate program at school. I just can't seem to get motivated to write the final paper. It's like I'm forever treading water and not getting anywhere. Do other people have any words of wisdom about overcoming this sense of stuck-ness that seems to (for me at least) go with depression?

[Elana05]

Hi garden gal,
Glad to hear from you here on pc. You were in my thoughts and I was wondering how you were... I wish I had more advice, though. I can say that I can relate. stuck-ness? yup. I think that's my middle name lol. At least for the past three years or so. Sometimes those negative thoughts take so long to slowly begin to move away... I'm glad you have found a meeting that has been helpful. Be gentle with yourself. It sounds like you are making good progress. Elana

[online user]

Hi! I joined perhaps since you posted last. Nice of you to check in with everybody. I kind of wondered what happened, if people stopped posting or visiting when they are really feeling better. I am probably a lot like you--most of the time I function really well, but a severely depressed mood could always be right around the corner.

My best tip for doing a job is break it up into little itty-bitty pieces. Do just one small thing, maybe--get out your old notes and paper ideas and put them in a workplace. Don't work on it--be happy with just one small piece. Then a few days later, tackle another small piece. Review the notes you had. Then, maybe, go to the library or do a small amount of on-line research. Again, keep it small, so you can accomplish it.

Maybe make a list of steps you could do to resurrect your project. That could be item #1 or #2 in your accomplishments. You could check off each as you accomplish it. Be careful not to overdo and get in too far. The important thing is to make a habit of working on it a bit every week. Then, several times a week. Start slowly and build up. If you feel like doing more, look at other aspects of your life you'd like to enhance and make small steps for one or two other projects, so you can alternate. Or, if you don't feel like one, tackle the other instead, so you are at least getting something done. Might be: Organize my clothes. This could include packing winter sweaters in a box for next year. Or going through your sock drawer and throwing out all the mis-matched pairs and socks with snags that you don't wear much anymore. You get the idea. When I was working and my depression was abated I set goals in every area of my life and it worked well for me, even though I can be quite a procrasinator. Now, twenty years later, I look back and see, yes, I did establish financial security on my own. Yes, I did develop a better relationship with all of the members of my dysfunctional family (this was a LOT of work--I had goals and plans for each one). Yes, I did achieve the level of success in business that I wanted. Etc.

Hope this helps!

[Rohag]

Hello, Garden Gal!

Originally Posted by garden gal

Do other people have any words of wisdom about overcoming this sense of stuck-ness that seems to (for me at least) go with depression?

I have words, but I cannot call them wise for I have long been mired in depression to the point of near-paralysis. What little I manage to "accomplish" usually occurs erratically, enabled by impulses. I have never been able to isolate and distill whatever produces those impulses; I just hope when they appear they'll carry me in some fruitful direction.

Apart from my uncontrolled impulsiveness, I also make some inconsequential headway through micro-steps (they're too small even to be called baby steps). Unfortunately, I have not experienced or achieved what counselors have often said about small steps building momentum leading to larger steps. For me, every "achievement" is barren, and some inner friction prevents all sustained movement.

Perhaps the best advice-from-afar I can offer is to avoid simultaneous primary challenges. You've the work challenge and the academic challenge. Trying to tackle them both at the same time may be a recipe for serious frustration.

All the best to you!