Feeling Down

LittleForgetMeNot · Apr 12, 2011, 09:05 AM

I'm not lonely anymore but I'm still tired and my motivation has died once again. My 16th birthday is on Saturday. I'm not excited. My family is causing a lot of drama over it and my little brother is very ill. Also I can barely talk and my throat is sore. The weather is great, good things are happening as I believe that 16 will be a good year for me. I'd say it's lucky, but even if it's not on it's own I wanna make it better myself.. But it all sounds like too much work. Nothing big is affecting me, just the stress over my birthday and the worry about my brother but.. I was doing good for over a month, I was flying high and happy, but suddenly I've hit a brick wall.

Confusedinomicon · Apr 12, 2011, 09:36 AM

It's okay to feel a little blah every once in a while. You sound like you're a little sick, too, so it is probably best that you get some rest and drink lots of liquids. Remember happiness is an emotion, but being content with what you are given in life is what is important. You have to remember to turn those negative comments, like, "But it all sounds like too much work." to a positive statement. "I can make short term goals so I don't overwhelm myself." See? You need to be easy on yourself.<3

Seriously, though, had I been 16 I would have wished I went through Cognitive Therapy and learned how to frame positive thoughts. I'm learning to keep a better outlook on life, and dealing with the depression that comes with BP. Half the problem is letting those little negative thoughts turn into big negative thoughts, and once it starts rolling, it doesn't seem to want to stop!

So please, LFMN, be a little easier on yourself.

LittleForgetMeNot · Apr 12, 2011, 11:34 AM

Thanks.

It's hard however, when your family is getting all on your case about your birthday. They're upset because my Aunt asked to go and I said yes. No one was invited, it was supposed to be just a dinner with my Dad and my brother but since she asked I thought there would be no harm in her coming. Now the rest of my family are getting upset, I guess feeling left out. It's hard to explain it all without coming off as selfish or unfair and the fact that I have to cater to everyone else's emotions on my birthday is making me quite bitter and upset with them.

I'm starting up therapy again, however the person I'm seeing I don't know if I like her. She isn't really helping me feel positive, but it feels more like she attacks my Dad since he relies on me for certain things as a single parent. I've only seen her 3 times though, so maybe if I see her more often it will get better.

Confusedinomicon · Apr 12, 2011, 05:40 PM

Ahh, I see. Well usually a first vibe gives a good indicator of whether or not you'll mesh well. If it doesn't go well and you feel she is spending more deviating from what you want to work on, then maybe she isn't the right fit for you? I'd give her a couple more tries.

I don't think you're being selfish, its your birthday. If you want to be around certain people and want to share it with them, its your right. I can understand the feeling. Keep your head up, though. :') I am sure you are capable of handling the situations.

hayward · Apr 12, 2011, 08:37 PM

This probably won't help much, but when I was your age, my father would say to me; "They tell you that it's the best time of your life.. that you are young and life should be great. Well, I am telling you that this is NOT as good as it gets. It will get much better."

And he was right. I wouldn't want to be 16 again. I think you are way ahead of the game by being so aware of your emotions and for trying to be heard and take care of yourself. You WILL be okay.

People always build up special events and holidays. Don't expect yourself to feel something that you don't. It is okay to just be blah sometimes. It will pass, just like it always does.

LittleForgetMeNot · Apr 13, 2011, 09:16 AM

I would hate it if this was the best my life was going to get. I'm not a normal teenager. I'm a caregiver, a second mother if you will to my younger brother with MID. My academic life and emotional stability has suffered not only from past abuse but now because my life circles around caring for him. I was never a child or a teenager, I was always an adult. My life has rarely ever been about me. I was never spoiled, I was neglected for the first half, and the second half is putting all the attention on a more important issue. So when a day that is supposed to be mine is taken away by others it just hits a lot more.

Like, why can't a person who focuses on everyone else, who tries to be responsible and selfless, have one day where everyone is that way to them?