[stephaniekoala]

<font color="black"> </font> I am obsessed on my instructor in school. I am having a huge crush on her. I can't get her off my mind. I think about her. She is married and a mom to 3 little kids. I know she is not available and not able to love me back but I can't help myself not to love her. I love her SO much to the point that I am obsessed on her. I feel like I am going crazy. [

are you still attracted to your therapist? this must be confusing for you. it is for me.

[allthegirls6]

well...............me to

atg

[Twinks]

Same here.

But I try to think of it as a happy kind of pain.

Twinks

[stephaniekoala]

Before i met my instructor I was so depressed because of my ex-therapist left me (she quit her job). And since i met my teacher I no longer have any crush on my therapist. I think because is my crush on my teacher replace my crush on my ex-therapist. So now I don't think about my therapist. Everytime someone left me I felt so depressed that I have to find someone to crush on to help me to forgot my previous crush.

[allthegirls6]

can I ask why we are all in Psychotherapy giving you advice on your T?

atg

[stephaniekoala]

i dunno! Do i do something wrong?

[allthegirls6]

no, its just that we were chatting about your T there but you are saying here that this is over. Im just confused

atg

[allthegirls6]

hey, its ok to be confused

atg

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

I am reading that your crush as you say on your T has moved to your instrustor perhaps because your T is not available but deep down its T you want..If so I get what you are saying its almost like a transference of your feelings for T going to instructor...It sucks to be smitten with someone who doesn't share the same feelings for you..TRUST me I know..or...if they do..it has to be hidden

Talk with your therapist.

[stephaniekoala]

Thanks so much

I know this is going to be blunt but I am going to put into words anyway because there may be others feeling the same way I am.

ok I just went back to psychotherapy. according to your posts at 8:17pm you posted a sad face and sigh because you have a crush on your therapist and here at 8:31pm you are no longer in love with therapist but then at 9:11pm you post in psychotherapy you want to kiss and hold your therapist.

If you are playing me and everyone else here for fools I don't appreciate it. We're here for people who really have problems and want help from each other and want to give help to others.

Someone doesnt fall out of a crush in 14 minutes and then falls back into a crush less than an hour later. No wonder every one here is confused.

When you have your story straight let me know and I will be glad to try to help you.

your welcome, and thanks for posting Im glad to know I wasn't alone in how I feel about this.

[LMo]

Another perspective, Steph, is that if what you're writing is true, then you really need to find a therapist who is experienced in treating people who become romantically obsessed so easily...

[stephaniekoala]

Ok! For those of you who is confused by my crushes story.,I think I will get it straight. My ex-therapist-Her name is Agnes. I met her about 9 months ago (at March) and i was crushing on her from the moment i met her because she is really caring, pretty. And I told her how i feel and she think is okay for me to think about her, she held me close. Things went ok until at the middle of the therapy session she announced the worst news i ever heard in my life-She is leaving her job and to go after her own business as a marriage and family therapist. I was really depressed and we have a really emotional goodbye therapy session. She and me no longer see eachother at the end of June. And she didn't officially leave her job until August. Man, I was so desperate and really depressed. Even though we no longer see eachother at that time, I indeed miss her so much. Than at September, I enrolled into a college studying medical assisting. That how I met my professor-Mrs Wilson. She made me forgot my ex-therapist. Because I am totally crushing on my professor. I no longer having feeling on my ex-therapist. now.

Hopefully you guys understand what i wrote.

Sounds reasonable to me but please note this explaination makes the posts in psychology into nothing but lies because you were over the crush on your therapist when your professor made you forget about her and you were in your words. "no longer having feelings on my ex-therapist. now".

You could have explained that you were no longer in love with your therapist and that the crush had ended in august-september when you met your professor. But instead you chose to lie and make us all think you needed help with this over and done with crush on your therapist.

for future reference just because this is on line and we cant see each other does not mean it's ok to lie for in the end the lie gets discovered and then the person who told the lie has to work real hard to gain everyones trust back.

Suggestion - you might try placing an appology and a post about the true situation in your psychology thread so anyone in the future who reads and wants to respond to that thread will know the truth.

Now as to this obsession on your instructor you already know she is unavailable, you already know she is not going to be returning the same feelings for you So you already know what you need to do - turn your attention elsewhere - someone your age and so on. Its ok to fantasize, heck I wish someone would send patrick swayze my way or even the neighbor down a couple buildings but its not going to happen so theres no reason for me to get all worked up, hot and bothered and upset and let that upset my whole life especially since they never once showed romantic interest in me.

you're in college spend some time in the college lounges, talk with other students about your classes or just sit and listen to others talking and sooner or later someone is going to ask you to join in the conversation then befor you know it you're in study groups and forming new friendships. I met so many people just sitting in the lounges watching tv and eating snacks, meals, doing homework, I even took a deck of cards and started playing solitary and the next thing I know we had a daily card game going. Soon enough you will have that special someone that you are craving.

Another thing you might want to look at is - this is the second time you have been attracted to a woman, your profile says you are female. Maybe your body is trying to make up its mind on which you prefer for romantic interests - men, women or both. Theres nothing wrong with any one of those choices but sometimes people struggle through that process. Your therapist can help you with that and there are many gender oriented support group (your therapist will also know about those)

and in the future it would be best if you were honest with us here. There is no reason to mislead anyone here. Real life does enough of that to us and I for one have very little tolorance for such things.

[dexter]

I am concerned not with your crushes per se but with the fact that it seems like you might be moving from one strong crush to another, as if you always have to have that strong connection with someone or else something would be missing in your life.

I think it would be a good idea to discuss this with your T and determine if it might be a problem... if there is something in you that you need to fill with these crushes when a better solution would be to find out what you need and try to fill it yourself. If that is the case, then having yourself fulfilled first will lead to a happier life for you and a better chance for solid relationships in the future. Relationships based on "need" are never healthy IMO.

Good luck with this SK

[Overcastbutclearing]

Reading this thread is confusing but it is apparent that steph you just want to be loved. You however seek that from someone you cannot have. Are you crushing after them or just finding them to be someone like a role model you never had?
Are your age and the T and professor's ages the same or is there a wide spread?