[Taonuviel]

...that suicide is not an option?

I want to die. Nothing new about that. But I feel like my conviction that suicide isn't an option because God won't let me complete it is wearing thinner. I didn't really think it would... but as my thinking heads further in the pit I can see how it could. But I have so much on the line...

Now I think I've lost my state aid because I'm working (less than part time)... I'm really not sure, and not sure how to find out... am guessing I'd need to make a call, but never remember to when I have the time during the right hours. I received a letter on May 26th saying it would be discontinued as of June 1st - the food stamps because I failed to send in verification and the Medicaid because I failed to send in verification and I'm making too much... I didn't realize I failed to send that verification because I never received the form, so I called and they told me to get them a copy of my last pay stub from April, which I did on the 27th, but I haven't heard anything after that. I'm pretty sure I can handle it without food stamps ok, but without Medicaid... there's no way I can afford my meds. Guessing MDD is considered a pre-existing condition... how the heck am I supposed to find insurance for my meds like this? Certainly not another issue I need to be dealing with right now.

It's always something...

[online user]

Sounds like you are overwhelmed with this new information. Give yourself time to let it settle in and time for you to sort out what is really happening.

You may be eligible for some of the drug company programs that give meds to those who can't afford it. Don't assume you won't be able to get meds--till all the resources are exhausted.

Sorry you are struggling so.

[Rohag]

Taonuviel, have you ever called 2-1-1 and told them your situation? Were they any help? Did they point you in any profitable direction? (Of course, you don't have to answer; I'm just hoping someone has been able to benefit from 2-1-1.)

I hope that conviction of yours doesn't totally wear away. I can see how it can serve as a barometer of how you are doing. If it gets too thin, please seek help.

May you find some kind soul to help you navigate the bureaucracy.

[Taonuviel]

I called the medicaid line today and found out I'm not covered, but didn't check my separate health plan through the county program - I'm not really sure what the difference is. But I looked at the 211 site and found a link to the county program, which looks like I still qualify for at least 2/3 of the programs, possibly the other one too. So I'll have to check with them tomorrow to see if I lost that coverage and what I need to do. However, none of my current meds are covered by any of these plans - they must have been covered by the state medicaid, as would more intensive mental health services be if I needed them... the county program has a pretty limited formulary... and I have to refill my scripts Monday. Stressing...
(Switching to meds on the formulary is an unlikely option, my depression is treatment-resistant and med changes are iffy and dangerous...)

I'm also cutting down my work hours - my last training is this week and I'm not going to pick up any more shifts because I'm too stressed, which is why my income might qualify for any of the county programs and could still qualify for medicaid... but it's so close to the lines and my paychecks up until now don't reflect that.

[turquoisesea]

(((((Tao))))