[stefano]

I really can't take it's so unreasonable. There are times when you face problems, and you are upset, but being upset makes sense. Other times you see no real reason for being anxious. It clings to any potentially upsetting event but you see it is disproportionate. You look carefully at the event that is causing anxiety and it is clearly not worth. But anxiety is still there, a clench in the guts. Hmm, it so ...
And an idea comes to mind: what if (when) I'll have to face some real hardship with my poor coping skills?

(I post here because depression has always been my main issue.)

Thanks for reading

[Leed]

I have found that while day to day things caused me great anxiety, I was GREAT in a crisis. It doesn't make a lot of sense, but it's true. I could handle a huge crisis just fine ~ but day to day living causes me alot of distress.

I guess it's because I never learned how to live day to day without dysfunction. My growing up years were nothing but chaos. So I expect that to be the same now ~ and when it isn't, I get upset or I have to MAKE some chaos !!! How insane is that?? Hugs, Lee

[Rohag]

Hello, Stefano!

Originally Posted by stefano

Other times you see no real reason for being anxious. It clings to any potentially upsetting event but you see it is disproportionate. [emphasis mine - Rohag]

I too suffer from depression tangled with anxiety, and your description fits my experience exactly. This is one of the most perplexing and frustrating aspects of my illness. I can have a reaction out of all proportion to any particular stimulus. I remember an incident where I brushed -- brushed! -- against a counter unexpectedly and it was like being punched in the gut. My mind reeled from the shock of the unexpected event and from the nonsensical disproportionality of my reaction.

Thankfully, this sort of thing doesn't happen all the time. The disproportional reactions are themselves erratic. I wonder if I can thank the meds for that...?

[online user]

I think sometimes these things trigger a reaction to a previous stressful life event sub consciously! So you aren't even aware of it--but something happens that causes you distress from your past, yet you don't remember the event itself. So, of course, your reaction seems out of proportion. You are trying to evaluate rationally the irrational. I think you'll be fine. Like Lee, we rise to the occasion and handle crises better than the small stuff.

[stefano]

Thank you all. I do hope I will react good under heavy stress, because we all know it does happen sooner or later.
Rohag: if the meds are working it is good, because chemical effects are stable. Me too had my bad crisis wiped off by a med
I just keep worrying too much

[tohelpafriend]

Stefano, I just read these posts; don't know why, really. I'm just coming out of a depression, but fought it like h###, and am learning to control my thoughts. The above post also made sense about events triggering the subconscious about how we reacted in the past to a similar thing, or rather, how our personality learned or did not learn to cope. I studied a book in therapy on Schema therapy which evaluates our "traps" from childhood. It helped me to cope and step back to look at why I react and respond. I made tons of notes. We learn to let go of these past patterns and replace them with healthy coping skills. I don't think we are supposed to quote book titles here, maybe websites? Anyway, just wanted to share that, you could google Schema Therapy.

[online user]

I don't think there is any problem with mentioning a book title or a website here. Ha, ha--as long as it's not one you wrote, LOL! I recommend Burns, "Feeling Good Handbook" a lot and have never bee4n cautioned on that.

[tohelpafriend]

We all have our triggers; now that i'm out out my depression and happy all the time, from sunrise to sunset and even pause to marvel at the summer sunsets, if I walk into or through a scenario in public which disempowers me or seems odd, I am learning to observe, then act and move on and out of it. I can control my thoughts now and decide how to protect myself and avoid toxic people and places. I have taken back my right to be happy; now I'm close to changing environments from this fast one with the dummied down middle class who think they're all that. It's all a class struggle; I come from class, but was happy in the inner city when my kids were very little; no one bothered me; living in the middle class has numbed me; I want more, I can do more with my education. Sorry I'm ranting on and on; something triggered this...
Oh, yes, the book is "Reinventing Your Life", by Dr. Jeffrey Young (and someone else) Excellent material for understanding abandonment, rejection, trust issues, attraction to bad relationships, (high chemistry...high probability of failure and emotionally unavailable people), etc., etc., etc. It's really worth the read and you can take a questionnaire to identify your "lifetraps" he calls them. We have to, I think, understand our triggers to change them and practice new coping skills. Dr. Young says most people hate to give up their "lifetraps" or patterns, because they think they define who they are (because they learned them from childhood). Don't let anyone control you or your dreams, except I ask God to guide me. Over and out for tonight.... P.s. no offense against the middle class, I'm just rising to the person I'm meant to be.

thanks for the mention of that book...I'll look for it