[chica17]

Hi everyone. I would consider myself a pretty normal and a pretty successful person, but I think I might have mild depression. I believe I've been depressed in life before because I went through a lot of rough stuff in my childhood (like my mother's death) and I know how heavy depression feels. But right now I don't feel like that...it's more of a somewhat apathetic feeling about everything.

I don't feel particularly sad, but like I mentioned, I feel kind of apathetic. I got out of a complicated relationship (you can read about it in the "Other Mental Health Issues" forum.... ) and the first week after it ended, I lounged around the house and cried all day. Now I'm disappointed in how everything ended but I'm just kind of confused about the relationship now, but I"m not extremely sad like I was before.

Also, I feel like I've been losing all of my friends and that's tough. I went to college this year and I know that a lot of friendships from high school fade at this time. One of my friends that I used to be close to is getting married and she's too busy to talk, the other two are extremely busy working, and my best friend moved to another city. I really don't hear from any of them. I have friends from college but we live so far away that we don't really visit.

My dad is kind of distant, so I've pretty much been in the house more or less by myself for about a month with very little social interaction. I'm wondering if I should try to get a job to get out of the house more and to feel like I have more of a purpose. But I've been so indecisive about whether I should start working again (I have a lot of money saved up and have a full-ride scholarship so I don't really need the money) that I haven't called my old boss to see if I could work. I've felt very indecisive lately (but I"ve really always been) and I've felt very lonely. My boyfriend was supposed to come visit last week but we broke up. I felt like he was a good sense of support when everything around me was changing...when friends were falling out of my life...and now he's gone too.

But like I said, I don't feel incredibly sad or anything. I just feel kind of "ehh". But it does bother me that I feel so indecisive and lonely, but that I don't know how to feel better about that or 'fix' it. Before the break up, I was doing things that I liked (like drawing), but now I feel don't have any desire to do those things. I've seen that a sign of depression is a loss of desire to do things you once enjoyed. But I don't really even know what I like anymore, and that scares me! I just feel kind of apathetic and nothing right now seems really fun or exciting.

I feel really socially inept too due to my lack of social interaction. My self-esteem has somewhat suffered due to this, but I know that I've had strains with friends due to outside forces (college, moving, etc.). But I think deep down I fear that people don't like me or that they don't see anything valuable about me....even though I know that I'm a valuable human being and deserve love.

I also worry about things way too much and I don't really know how to stop.

Do you guys have any advice?
Thanks!

[quiksilver2101]

Your post sounds like me when I get depressed. It sounds to me like it could be depression. Although I'm no expert or anything, maybe you should see a doctor about it, maybe you'll feel better if you're on an anti-depressant?

[chica17]

Originally Posted by quiksilver2101

Your post sounds like me when I get depressed. It sounds to me like it could be depression. Although I'm no expert or anything, maybe you should see a doctor about it, maybe you'll feel better if you're on an anti-depressant?

Thanks for the advice but I would like to look into natural cures if I am depressed. Does anyone know about natural cures? I would not be comfortable taking an anti-depressant and I think the negative side-effects of medication would outweigh the positive ones.