[SavvySpirit]

I'm going to see a doctor on Tuesday. This is my first time away from my childhood family practice doctor, and I'm very nervous. I've had some sort of problem for about ten years now, probably depression but I've never been diagnosed. I never told my childhood doctor about anything I was going through because my mom worked with him and I knew he would tell her and it would be a big deal and I would probably get into trouble with my abusive dad because of it. So now it's a few years later and my husband has encouraged me to go to a new doctor in our new city and finally tell someone what's going on with me. Our marriage is falling apart because of my moods, and if it does, i don't think I'll survive it. So going to see this doctor is one last chance for our marriage and for my life.

But I don't have any idea what to say... How do I make it clear to my doctor that I'm not doing this for attention, I'm really hurting very badly and have been for years. I just am so afraid that she's going to undermine my feelings and not helP me at all... How should I approach this?

[Rohag]

Hello, SavvySpirit!

Originally Posted by SavvySpirit

I just am so afraid that she's going to undermine my feelings and not helP me at all...

Hopefully, as a professional speaking to an adult, your doctor will not be dismissive of you. If she does not feel capable of evaluating the reality of your condition, she should give you a referral to a therapist or a psychiatrist who can -- you can ask for that.

Originally Posted by SavvySpirit

I don't have any idea what to say...

Perhaps you could review your posts here at PsychCentral and use them to summarize what you need to say:

• your "moodiness"
• a concrete description of your "moodiness"
• how long you have been experiencing unstable moods (including the fact you hid your condition for fear of an abusive father -- if you feel comfortable sharing that with your doctor)
• the whole range of physical symptoms (including tiredness/sluggishness) that accompany your moods
• the effect of your moods on your marriage and activities of daily living (ADLs)
• anything else you feel is relevant

It's great you are seeing a doctor! I wish you a good outcome!

[kaliope]

Savvy
Rohag gives you some good advice. I wonder what type of dr. youre going to? an MD, psychiatrist? are you looking for medication? it sounds like it may be beneficial to get a therapist involved, not only for the depression, but to help bring the marriage back together.

As for your appointment, remember, the dr. is there to work for you. It may be helpful to write down all the things you want the dr. to know. I know i am afraid of dr's and forget everything once they start talking to me and then i have lots of regrets over what i didnt get the chance to say that i felt was important for him to know. so by writing it down in bullet point fashion is very helpful. I would just hand it to my psychiatrist. he found it very helpful and we would have never been able to address all those issues if we talked about them in the traditional way. he was able to pick out what was important and what wasnt. and i felt "heard". i once heard it said that you need to tell your dr everything important in the first three minutes because they stop listening after that.

so my best advice is to relax, be clear and concise, advocate for yourself, remember that you are in charge. be clear in your expectations of what you want from the dr. and take care of yourself. good luck

[compuguy62]

Hi Savvy, make sure you get a certified mental health professional. When I had my first several sessions, I just told him my story. It is very important that you'll tell them that you have been down or depressed since you where young. I would go to the sessions myself in the beginning, then brought my wife into the sessions with me to begin couples therapy. The sessions are completely confidential, by law in Pa anyway, so no one is allowed to find out anything. Good luck to you!!