[Hopefull]

I have been worrying myself to peices lately. I wanted to share what has been on my mind with someone. But, my T appointment is a ways away. So, here goes. When I was in Abnormal Psychology, we had a chapter on depression and suicide. The depression chapter made me remember my childhood. They talked about suicide as if it is the strangest thing in the world. I mean I sometimes have thoughts suicide. So, I felt so strange. In the ethics class, my teacher called Dysthymic Disorder a mental disorder. I some how never quite thought ot it as that for all these years. But, I felt as if he was accusing me of having been mentally ill. I cried all night recently because of this. I am hoping that sharing this might help me to sleep for more than 4 or 5 hours tonight for the first time in a month.

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Oh gosh sweetie get some sleep...most of the world has a disorder ...look at drug sales on psych meds...its a billion dollar industry.....that makes you normal

[nothemama8]

having a mental illness is not the worst thing to have, finding support is the best, welcome
Laura

[DaveyJones]

They're right, Hopefull !

I'm really sorry that you're feeling bad...and I hate it that your teacher's comment has caused you so much worry. I don't think your teacher was accusing you...she/he was simply making a statement. Does it apply to us? Yeah. So what?

It does get to the heart of what has been so difficult for me over the years...the feeling that somehow this is all my fault. It took me about EIGHT years to figure out this is not my fault! I would sit around for days and weeks beating myself up about why I couldn't do the things I used to do. Then I would beat myself up because I had wasted all that time being sad...and so on...and on...ad nauseam !

I was finally able to put those thoughts behind me. I was able to change the living arrangements that were contributing to my illness. Now I live on my own. It's really scary, now I wonder how long it will be before I'm living at the Victory Mission, but I don't blame myself anymore.

So take pause, listen to your favorite song or read your favorite poem. Clear away all the junk in your mind, and know that this is a disease that must be treated, not a moral flaw in yourself that has to be forgiven.

Thinking lots of Happy Thoughts for you,

DJ

[Azalysa]

Hi, Hopefull and welcome!

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So take pause, listen to your favorite song or read your favorite poem. Clear away all the junk in your mind, and know that this is a disease that must be treated, not a moral flaw in yourself that has to be forgiven.

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What Davey said here is sooooo true!

So many people, including teachers, are uneducated about mental illness and can sometimes say thoughtless things - even not meaning to be hurtful.

I've lived with my illness long enough in addition to my own study, research, etc. that people making comments doesn't bother me anymore. Just recently, one of my pastors at church (who is such a dear) told me I could "choose" to feel happy or sad. He's an elderly man and I knew he likely has no knowledge of mental illness so I just smiled and listened and went on my way.

This forum and the people here are very helpful.

[Lexicon78]

I'm really sorry you are in so much pain right now. Sure, you may be depressed and everything, but that doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Try to hang in there and keep talking to us. It will help you a lot to have so much support and you may even find the lasting friendship that I believe everyone is entitled to in life.

[kimmydawn]

hopeful, hi and welcome!

i believe that most people have issues/disorders. i feel the ones that recognize it and/or seek help are ahead of the game.

i hope you're able to get some decent sleep soon. i'm glad you've found us and hope to read more from you.

again, welcome!

KD

[blackdragon]

((((((((((((((Hopefull))))))))))))))))))))) Im sorry that class has hurt ya. Im in general psychology and we are on psychological disorders and my teacher has comics that make fun of mental illness. The class has not gotten pass anxiety yet but there are some comics that will make fun of bipolar she said. So im sortof dreading about it. But i can understand were ur coming from. Have you talked to your teacher about this? And ur ethic's teacher, does he/she know about ur mental illness? Im glad u came here to talk. Im here if u need me. Just PM me if u wanna talk.

[hillbunnyb]

Hi, yer in good company. Chill on out child !! When my best friend and I observe the "psycho" actions of so called normal people, we look at each other, and knowingly say, in unison, "WE are the sane ones". Figuring that EVERYBODY has issues and that there are those who pay attention and work on themselves and the others who are in denial and blame everything on somebody else....... We improve, they stay stuck in their oblivious patterns.
I think we are way more fun to hang out with. Hope you keep posting and learn to relax around it a little.

[Azalysa]

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i believe that most people have issues/disorders. i feel the ones that recognize it and/or seek help are ahead of the game.

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So true, Kimmy! That made me think of one of my professors in grad school (who was also a longtime therapist). The first night of our first class is said - "I'm not worried about people who are going for counseling; it's the people who are driving up and down I-4 (major interstate here) and think they're ok!"

While using it reference to therapy, same goes for any type of issue/illness. And I'm always amazed when I'm sharing about my illness with someone and at first they are like "Oh, I've never had anything like that (which used to bug me in the past). THEN as the conversation goes on...9 times out of 10, the person confides in me some mental health issue.

There are still so many people who don't feel safe sharing what they are going through - the more education the better - and we are all "walking educators."