[sigh1989]

I posted some of the details of what's going on with me in a thread earlier. I can't link you all to the post because I don't have 10 posts yet, but the thread's not too far down if you want to read it.

But essentially, my life is a wreck, and no one really knows about it but me. My issues are more physical than psychological, but at the same time all of these physical issues I'm having cause me to be really depressive, and it doesn't help that everyone treats me like I'm making stuff up whenever I tell them I don't feel good.

I'm so tired of my 'friends' putting pressure on me to hang out with them and then making me feel guilty for not wanting to go. I really wish I didn't have any friends to be honest; I don't get why it's so hard for people to just let me be. Like, I told my one friend I didn't want to go midnight bowling with her b/c the strobe lights make me feel really off balanced, and she looked at me like "Yeah, okay you're crazy." The same friend keeps pressuring me to go to the gym with her. I don't want to go to the gym. I feel like I'm going to pass out when I go to the gym. I tell her that, and then she asks me to come again 2 weeks later.

Hanging out with people isn't enjoyable for me anymore. Nothing is enjoyable for me anymore. Whenever I know I have an appointment scheduled to go out with someone, I spent the whole day really anxious and miserable because I have no idea if I'm going to have a "bad day" and feel like I'm going to die any minute the entire time I'm out of the house. It's not like I can just get up from the dinner table in the middle of the night and tell people, "Sorry, but I'm having an episode where I feel like I may pass out, so I'm going to hop in my car and dangerously drive myself home now. Bye." Once I'm out, I'm trapped. I like to be in my room so that if I start to feel like that, I can lay down on my bed quickly.

I'm so close to getting on Facebook and posting a status that says, "Please stop asking me to do things I've told you I don't want to do. Please stop asking me to hang out with you. I know it's fun for you to do things, but it's not for me. I just want to be left alone to lay in my bed with my computer and cry about how much of a wreck my life is. That's all I ask. Just let me be. Please."

I know I'm sounding really ungrateful and whiny right now, and truth be told, I don't think I described any of that correctly. I just wish people would stop making me feel like a horrible person for wanting to be left alone. They don't understand that when you spend every second of your day worrying like me, getting out of the house to do something "fun" isn't fun; it adds additional stress and anxiety.

[Leed]

Be careful what you ask for -- you just might get it!!! After my husband died over 10 years ago, ALL our friends dumped me -- I guess they didn't want a single woman in their "couples only" group.

But I also understand because I've been a chronic painer for over 25 years. If people aren't trying to give me "miracle remedies" they're pushing to go somewhere, where it would cause me much pain. I hate to say no all the time, but I CANNOT risk putting my pain levels at a point where I can't control it.

I hope you're currently seeing a doctor for your problems. If you're in alot of pain, then you need to see a pain management doctor to help you control the pain. Plus you want the docs to actively search for what is wrong -- and try to correct it.

I wish you the very best. Please take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee

[ballet_girl]

Are you feeling well enough to invite some friends over to your house for popcorn and a movie or just to hang out? Obviously your friends miss you and want to see you but aren't grasping how much pain you are in. Maybe if you can get them interested in doing something low-key with you they will stop bothering you to do the things that you can't handle? And its always good to at least try to keep friends around for when you need them