[mistyeyed]

Good moments, bad moments.. they're not supposed to last and I think I've come to terms with that but for once, I'd like there to be some long term good instead of the usual awful, bad, uneventful, awful again moments. I am a strong believer in karma but I just can't understand how hard I continue to get hit by merely answering a text. I've been in bed every day since Thursday (day off from work) and I have yet to get up. It's not even that I'm lazy, I just can't find a reason to get up and I can't bring myself to even eat much more than yogurt. I feel like I shouldn't of answered my ex pleading with me and begging for my attention. He's going through something rough and I can't ever say no to him-although he almost never reciprocates. I fall for it every time even though I know it brings me back to this place every time we talk. He takes entirely too much out of me and he happened to catch me during an already occurring spiral, only to speed up the process. He only seems to need me after 5 or so drinks and in the morning he's right back to being cold. I said no last night for the first time in 5 years and he stopped calling me vulgar names at around 5 p.m today. Maybe I really am all those things he said. He sounded like he really needed me and I just said no. I haven't si'd since February I've been so distracted with my new job that actually makes me relatively happy. I'm troubled by the fact that I don't know what triggered the spiral in the first place... prob family. There's been a lot of family over (ramadan) and it always makes me anxious because I refuse to participate. I hate fasting.

Maybe I'm sensitive right now because it's been a while since I've felt this low but I was getting close to happiness. I feel really empty like there's just one small part of me in my head sitting in the corner just crying and I can't even get to it and I have to helplessly wait until it just stops

[Korin]

((((Hug))))))

[mistyeyed]

Originally Posted by Korin

((((Hug))))))

thank you