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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2005
Location: Vermont
Posts: 1,529
18 
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Jan 07, 2006 at 03:32 PM
#1
<font color="purple"> Been really down, fighting unresolved guilt, new memories, old memories, feeling lost, empty, drowning, want to feel pain but so far still able to resist, want to hide, to run, to fly away...... want to talk but cannot speak, want answers to questions I cannot ask, want want want........ searching and searching, not finding...... Eating myself away, isolating myself, need to hold on until next month...then I can get help... desparately want help.... ready to get help.... want understanding... feel connected....... stop being tormented by guilt.... ughgghhhh its deserving though..sad feel alone... want to understand so many things, want to feel love, happiness, joy, normal, and alive, and feel like a me and not a we....... just spinning back and around in a continuous circle..... too mnay things to sort too many issues to address where to start where to end get out of my head and let my life begin!!!! </font>
__________________ Melinda  Today, NOW! Is the time to tell that someone you love them.....  because tomorrow just might be too late! 
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2004
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,944
20
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Jan 07, 2006 at 06:34 PM
#2
Sorry to hear you are feeling so terrible right now. If you need to talk I'm here for you.
__________________ "When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -Bernard Bailey |
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Posts: n/a
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Jan 07, 2006 at 06:56 PM
#3
((((((((((((serenity))))))))))))))
i have also wanted those same things. maybe we can wait in expectation for them together. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2005
Location: Vermont
Posts: 1,529
18
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Jan 07, 2006 at 07:33 PM
#4
<font color="purple">Thank you Lexi, I appreciate it! Much of the time it is so hard to put it all in to words... I wish the noises would stop,maybe then I could begin to sort it out some... Well, it has some what sorted, I noticed in my journaling that I started in November that writing helps.. Shouldnt surprise me though, as poetry has been a type of therapy for me for yrs... but the journalling has opened me up in new ways and being honest with msyelf and allwoing myself to feel. Sometimes I write so much I cant stop... I am a rambler... as I am starting to do now...
Again thank you, it is comforting that there are ppl who dont know me from Eve willing to listen and offer support and an ear. Thank you Melinda</font> __________________ Melinda Today, NOW! Is the time to tell that someone you love them..... because tomorrow just might be too late!
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2005
Location: Vermont
Posts: 1,529
18
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Jan 07, 2006 at 07:37 PM
#5
<font color="purple">Thank you Esther... Ya know, some may laugh at cyber hugs but they mean a lot to me. I keep a glimmer of hope in my heart and beleive that one day we will be free from all this inner struggle.... At times it is hard to grab it , hope sometimes feels as if it is tied to a balloon and taken away by a gust of wind...
Thank you for being here... Melinda </font> __________________ Melinda Today, NOW! Is the time to tell that someone you love them..... because tomorrow just might be too late!
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