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Junior Member
Member Since Jan 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11
18 |
Jan 28, 2006 at 11:07 AM
#1
Hello to all,
I am new to this internet stuff so hang in there with my boo boos please. I have been haveing a very BAD go of it lately with my depression. I have been closed up in my room, sleeping, sleeping..... This week I decided I better do something else or I was going to hit the bottom and slip below that for good. All the time I just keep on smiling for my friends, family and co-workers like all is well with me. I am tired of that because it takes so much energy to keep up that front. But it is what I must do because of my past serious issues with attempting to end my life a few times. Well, at last this week I made an appointment with my Psychologyst to talk to him about how I am feeling. I didn't tell anyone else because they all are so "happy" about how great I am doing. So now I am at least feeling a little better that I have taken the initiative to crawl my withdrawln self out of that bed and am reaching out to this support site. Maybe someone will have some feedback on how I can get my motor going a bit and stop this downhill funk I am getting into. __________________ 9 Lives |
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2005
Location: cedar
Posts: 2,352
19 151 hugs
given |
Jan 28, 2006 at 12:11 PM
#2
Welcome to the forums!
Congrats with taking that step to make an appointment. You able to get out for exercise? That helps me a lot at times, to get out for a brisk walk, see something different, get some fresh air. Even if I can only make it around the block, in the rain, with an umbrella up to shield me somewhat. Exercise does help. What do you enjoy, what is fun for you? Thinking along those lines and then doing things that are playful and distracting can also be effective. __________________ |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2005
Posts: 36
18 |
Jan 28, 2006 at 12:15 PM
#3
Hi Maartina! Welcome to PC.
You should be very proud of yourself for taking a first step for doing something for yourself. It's great that you're going to see a psychologist. In my case, my T was really one of the most important steps to getting better. I'm sorry people around you are not very supportative. Sometimes people are scared, or feel impotent about not being able to "make you feel better". I believe they care about you, and might not know how to deal with the issue. You will find lots of support here. People are really nice. You don't need to show here that you are "happy". What I mean is that you don't have to pretend. There will come a time were you will really feel OK, and we will all be so happy for you. Please let us know how the appt. goes. and how you are doing. Take care. Welcome again. Ashley |
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Junior Member
Member Since Jan 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11
18 |
Jan 29, 2006 at 05:17 AM
#4
Dear Sarah,
Thanks for the advice. Mostly I just sleep and hide in my room and hope another day doesn't come to be honest. Wow, this is so nice to say what I really feel. In the real world what I do is get up watch TV and go to work three days a week as an RN. I love what I do. The other four days a week I try to survive and pretend I am alright. I work night shift so I can justify a lot of sleep. My husband tries but just doesn't understand depression. Right now all we have in Oregon is cold fog and rain. Blah! Blah! Blah! I am sure I will start to feel a little bit better in the spring. I do have an umbrella and go up to the end of my road and feed the horses apples a few times a week with my two year old nephew. My husband and I have no children, just pets. Thanks for the reply. __________________ 9 Lives |
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Junior Member
Member Since Jan 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11
18 |
Jan 29, 2006 at 05:50 AM
#5
Dear Ashley,
I am glad I can share my true feelings here because my husband and my family just "dont' know what the problem is". I have lived with severe depression as long as I can remember (some 36 years now and I am turning 39 soon) and I don't know what the heck the problem is either! What I do know it that I have it and I don't like it. ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My husband woke up last night and saw me on the computer. He asked what I was doing as I am never on the internet. I told him I was on a site for depression support and his reply was "here we go again!" I had a very bad LOW swing two year ago and nearly died. I assured him I just wanted to reach out to others who understand before things got that bad again and he said I should just stay off the computer. I disagee- so here I am. I am having a bad day and crying and you can know it! Thanks for being here for me Ashley . __________________ 9 Lives |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2003
Location: Coram Deo
Posts: 35,474
(SuperPoster!)
20 1,651 hugs
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Jan 29, 2006 at 12:02 PM
#6
Welcome to Psych Central! I think most ppl put on a good attitude/face for work, as it's rather expected? That's why coming home, kicking off your shoes and collapsing into the sofa feels so good.
 Please don't judge yourself for faking it in front of others...Depression is tough. I'm glad you are going back to your psychologist, and hope you've "caught" the blues soon enough for a sooner "fix." Depression... true medical depression is one forever tough disorder,imo. Are you on medication (are you "allowed" to be?) IMO, with a spouse with an attitude like that...well, the spouse needs psychotherapy too! I hope you are able to discern what is his problems and what are your own. You can make your own livable...can't do a thing about his.Sigh. Maybe I'm not in the best shape right now to be giving "advice." So I'll sum it up with Welcome, come back as often as you need to! __________________ |
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