Why do some depressed people fake that they are fine?

This is personal opinion, but I think that self-deviation can cause depression to worsen. This can apply to anyone, if you are one person at work, another at home, and another with peers it seems likely that you'll be less content with your life.

There are measures that are needed to protect yourself, of course, when you have what some here have referred to as a "social stigma".

Depression doesn't make up your entire being and it doesn't define your existence.

I think 'fake it till you make it' is better applied if you are shy and want to become an outgoing person.

One of the reasons is I don't want to be rejected if I unload all my feelings on someone else or have my feelings dismissed/belittled.

Actually, depression did make up my entire being and it did define my existence.

For some...

The fear of rejection is greater than the pain of self-invalidation.

Not that the point of this thread had anything to do with me, but ...

After 50 comments, I still resent being expected to fake feeling fine so that I don't make others uncomfortable. The only good reason for faking that anyone convinced me of was Venus's, which was to avoid giving someone ammunition to use against me.

Now for that I'll fake it till the cows come home. Thanks, Venus.

because sometimes its all we have. we tell other to try to convince ourselfs, not that it really works.

You have put into words exactly how I feel all the time! It is very tiring hiding how you feel.
Thanks for expressing yourself so well

TRIGGER FOR HATE MAIL

I have seen depression from both sides.

Viewed from the outside:
I don't mind people being sad, but their hopelessness is very hard to take. I expect depressives to have enough initiative to get medication and therapy. That may not be fair, but that's how I feel.

An untreated depressive is a bottomless pit. I'm never going to fill it so why should I try?

I'm prepared to make an effort for someone who

faking it . faking to be happy . i do it. for me it is part of denile which i'm being told now feel my emotions. Own them. then let them pass. tis hard to do. i know i've lied to t on everything is ok. think she figured a few of those out. ppl in general yeah. i was brought up in a family to which you didn't share your issues or let alone to admit them. great advice yeah. i know it didn't work for my parents and it doesn't work for me Or my siblings. fake it to make it till you break basically for me

As far as public interactions go, I feel that if I try to talk about my depression with my friends (who a lot of them are also troubled teens) they will say how self centered I am and that their lives are so much worse. Basically say I have no reason to be sad and I should get over it. I don't necessarily always wear the "happy face" though, only around the people I think would notice and disapprove.

If you're wondering why depressed people don't ask for the treatment they need, I can speak from that angle pretty well. I have no doubts I'm depressed in my own mind, but until the school psychologist (who I see regularly but can't diagnose me) reccomended that I might have depression, I thought they would yell at me or make me feel stupid and say why I don't. I'm also afraid of my parents finding out, because they have high expectations for me, I feel like I would disappoint them or make it feel like it's their fault. I also don't want my boyfriend (and best friend) to find out because I feel he would be uncomfortable with the fact that his girlfriend needs "treatment" or has "problems" because he comes from the stereotypical all-american home. Another big factor is that I don't want my family problems to come out in therapy, because I don't want my parents to be accused of abuse, or the story of my grandfather to come out that nobody knows about. I would prefer to keep all these things under wraps and just get the emotional help. So, I guess a lot of the reason I don't seek actual treatment is fear of now being "emotionally unstable".

Hi Natani--I read your other post re your grandfather and I am glad that you were able to post some of your story. Good for you! I also think you should, at least, tell your therapist the whole scoops, else how else can he/she truly help you? You deserve to be happy. and just think, what if what you wondered about your grandfather is really true? shouldn't someone try to stop/help him, so that he cannot hurt another child? That is how the cycle is broken. I know many view there is a stigma about having mental illness but I hope as society evolves, that will lessen. I even hope that one day we will understand that abusers were probably abused themselves. As someone said, Hurt people hurt people. People should be applauded and praised for admitting that they have problems and are trying to seek help, or for being part of a process that stops someone else from being harmed. I hope you will come to realize that one day soon. The truth really will set you free. (btw-you would be amazed at how many in "all American families" have mental issues.) If it might make it easier, you can try substituting the words "needs help" for "emotionally unstable". Good luck dear.