[crazycow6019]

"You need to do this, that, that, this, then that and then this. So you can get your live straight. So you can get what you want." Wait? Do you mean, "So you can get what you want from me?" Thats all you want. You want me to become who you want me to be? You dream that I will take off where you left off before "you" messed up "your" life by getting married and having a kid at the age of 18. Mom, I'm not you. I will never be you. I will do what I set myself out to do. If I want to buy a pony, well damn, I guess I'm going to get a pony. I want to do whats best for me. You don't know whats best for me. Only I do. I know myself better than anyone else knows me. Mom, you make me want to kill myself. You make your expectations way to high. Mom, my your expectations my expectations and then maybe we wouldn't hit heads. Mom, when I've been telling you for 4 plus years that you don't understand and I'm still telling you that, maybe you need to relize what that means. That you need to sit down and think really hard about what I've been saying. This is what I've been saying, "You don't understand, you've never understand. You weren't really part of my life growing up. You need to understand that cleaning your house is not going to make my life better. You use me. I do so much. When you ask me to do something for you, I do it without questions. Even when I do something for you that you ask of, I do it wrong, not the way you want it." I always do everything wrong. Sometimes I feel like if I was just dead, Mom, you wouldn't have to worry about taking me to a mental hospital, won't have to worry about me doing EVERYTHING wrong. You make me feel like I'm in the way. Sometimes I feel like I should have a baby too like my middle sister so I can get respect too. I've respected you so much. Why, Mom? Why must you **** on me? The one expectation you should have right now is that I move very far away and that I will never talk to you again.

[depressedalaskan]

WOW!!! I have to say this is very deep. I think you should see a doctor. See if they can help you with this. Take your post in with you. I wish you luck.