how does it feel?

to be judged and labelled by someone who isnt even a professional

for me, it makes me want to do something deeply destructive to myself

maybe that is all I deserve

If I dont "grow and change" to my OWN satisfaction, then it is a serious option for me.

How does it feel to be "treatment resistant"... and yet still be judged. It feels like ..... I don't have the words for it (that would be allowed on here anyway ...)

to ME it feels like... doesn't feel like anything revolutionary. I'm not sure how much stock I'd put into what a nonprofessional would say, but rather I'd try to extract the good and scrap the bad.

Obviously, it feels pretty darn bad to YOU, though. That makes me sad.

(( Fuzzy ))

I was labelled treatment resistant and so consented to ECT. No use regretting it because it's done. But it didn't help either.

I can only identify with the feeling of being (or feeling) judged.

And yes, there are no real words to describe it.

One of several words to describe it is violation.

Thanks for your replies!

Fuzzy,

There are lots of judgmental people out there. I hope that I'm not one of them.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Myzen

Violation feels pretty lousy.

But I guess the way I look at it is this: I can't control what other people think about me. It's inevitable that some people aren't going to like me and that some people are going to judge me. I can't control that. Nor am I sure I want to -- because if I wanted to, that would also mean I cared what they thought. The mere concept of caring what they thought drains me of all of my energy... and I don't want my energy drained like that.

People probably *have* judged and labelled me. But you know what? Poo on them. I know that there are people who do appreciate me and those who judge me are saving me from wasting my time with them.

and I conclude by saying "pah"

But the fact that you feel that way bums me out

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LMo said:
Violation feels pretty lousy.

But I guess the way I look at it is this: I can't control what other people think about me. It's inevitable that some people aren't going to like me and that some people are going to judge me. I can't control that. Nor am I sure I want to -- because if I wanted to, that would also mean I cared what they thought. The mere concept of caring what they thought drains me of all of my energy... and I don't want my energy drained like that.

People probably *have* judged and labelled me. But you know what? Poo on them. I know that there are people who do appreciate me and those who judge me are saving me from wasting my time with them.

and I conclude by saying "pah"

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">



how very draining to always be worrying about what others think. we've spent far too much time stuck in deciding our lives around what other ppl might think about us. we didn't even used to have enough courage to ask folks if we thought we might be mistaken. it is sad to think of how much we lost out on in life based on our fears of what others thought. but that was a symptom of our depression when we were very ill and our medications weren't balanced. once our brain was better equipped to be rational we set about using CBT to challenge thoughts that didn't seem like they were based in reality. the disease made the thought patterns so natural that it was the first thing we went to instead of using calm rational thinking to challenge negative thoughts.

now we've learned that what others think is their business and beyond our ability to control. if they wish to believe false things that is, again, their business. if they wish to believe the worst then that is saying more of where they're at then anything about us.

to have a strong enough sense of self that isn't dependent upon what you think others perceive of you is fantastic.

were you always able to be this way? or did you learn things during this life that helped you better grasp your truths?

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were you always able to be this way? or did you learn things during this life that helped you better grasp your truths?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Um, I'm not really sure. I was terribly self-conscious as a teenager. I guess my big turning point was when I started my career - it gave me good confidence. Travelling alone a lot helped too. But just as I get older, I care a lot less. You guys are my age, so you probably know what I mean.

So come on... say it with me: PAH!

Do you believe the best about people and their motives?

I know you're asking _zh, but I'll chime in since I'm awake and online and procrastinating from finishing the work that I started.

I don't believe the best or worst about people's motives. I mean, I guess I generally assume they mean well unless something seems out of whack. I can't say I spend a whole lot of time thinking about people's motives, though.

Do you?

Post deleted by Fuzzybear

omg - I'm sorry - have I upset you???????

Fuzzy - I'm sorry

Not at all, thanks for your valuable insight (( LMo ))

I also believe the best of people.... unless there is something seriously out of whack.

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Fuzzybear said:
Do you believe the best about people and their motives?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> we're not really sure what our opinion would mean here as what we think isn't important to how you view your world.

somewhere else you again mention non-professionals and we ask why you're putting so much stock into what ppl w/o training think? ozzie was one of the ppl who responed in that thread a while back about giving credence to non-professionals....we're too tired to find it at this moment.

confused here fuzzy.....wanna clarify and help this muddled mind out?

I am not sure how to respond as I am confused too...
Maybe we just often talk at cross purposes or something

Take care,
Fuzzy

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LMo said:
I don't believe the best or worst about people's motives. I mean, I guess I generally assume they mean well unless something seems out of whack. I can't say I spend a whole lot of time thinking about people's motives, though.

Do you?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> nope. we really have far too much going on in our lives with therapy and our RL issues that unless our meds are out of whack we no longer obsess or worry what others might possibly think of us.

we're charming enough that most are courageous enough to let us know to our face if they have a problem with us or do not like us! heehee

motives? pah! like we could figure out the motives of other people?! PAH! some are transparent and some aren't. we don't spend a lot of time delving into those that aren't transparent. we have enough going on w/o freely giving our precious energies to that! PAHPAHPAH!!!

and one final PAH!

... and now I'm off to bed. It's frigging 3:15am here. Ridiculous that I'm online right now. I need a lot of sleep to be able to look THIS good

ok then, maybe we could PM to sort out some misunderstandings?

I find that most people are "brave" enough to at least allow me to give my side of the story I am not all that scary after all

From one charming person to another,
Fuzzy

you could get thirty minutes of sleep and still look like you was beat by the purdy stick

Dear zh,

Like time0 I am confused by why you find some people so scary in the DID forum and do not find the same people so scary elsewhere.

I am also confused by whether you would find me PMing you "scary"...

we're not the one with ignore on silly bear!

communication isn't easy when folks are coming from very different places and lack the ability to put themselves into the others shoes. sometimes we have to accept that all differences cannot be ironed out or easily fixed. life has no guarantees. all we can do is try. the lesson being that even with effort we don't always end up with the results we expect or hope for. but at least we can say we tried.

Fuzzybear,

I just wanted to say that...

I was constantly JUDGED many, many years ago, and because of that,it has carried on into my adult life.

That feeling that I am worthless, useless, good for nothing, still hangs around.

The only thing I can do about it is to tell myself that the above is'nt true. I look for the evidence of that in my present life.

I don't really know if this makes sense to you, I feel pretty awful at the moment...

But I wanted to respond to let you know that, that feeling of being judged is common among people who have been through hell!

Hugs to you.

so what work have you done to combat this peg? the more ideas that can help someone who feels this way the better this thread becomes.

if just one person starts questioning the automatic thoughts of being judged and can change their outlook then we're all contributing to a great thing here.

I've had 4 years of therapy so far...

It is a constant learning process.

The FEELING part of me- comes from the CHILDs point of view. It is not wrong what the child-part feels, but I have to stop and think and ask myself,
Is that true now?
And try and work out if it is a "here and now feeling" or is it "old stuff, from the past"

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pegasus said:
I've had 4 years of therapy so far...

It is a constant learning process.

The FEELING part of me- comes from the CHILDs point of view. It is not wrong what the child-part feels, but I have to stop and think and ask myself,
Is that true now?
And try and work out if it is a "here and now feeling" or is it "old stuff, from the past"

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> YES!!! that's precisely the kind of thing we wondered. stopping and thinking and asking "is that true now?"

awesome peg....thank you for that!