[lenjan]

Saw my pdoc yesterday. I have a million billion things going on in my life, largely related to a major physical illness, which has led to loss of income, hours and hours of paperwork and dealing with bureaucrats who still insist on making things impossible for me, weekly outpatient clinic visits for shots and transfusions and whatnot, etc. It's the money that's the most problematic -- I just had to dump $250 into my car, and now I can't pay my March rent. Blah.

My point is, I have plenty to be depressed and anxious about -- and I have been -- and everyone I know has been sending me articles about how exercise helps depression (I send them back and underline the words "mild to moderate", which are not me), or how I just need to get out of the house more, or hey, you almost died, be glad you're alive. And I am. But I tell these people, "GOD, I'm depressed," and they say, "get over it already." (I know we've all been there.)

I spent almost an hour with my pdoc yesterday -- he schedules appointments for half an hour. We talked and talked about all that's going on with me, and how I've been reacting to it, and he concluded that I really AM depressed, and it's really NOT just situational, and it needed intervention with an increase in my antidepressant. I have to watch what I take now, because they think a couple of my psych meds caused my physical illness, but it was the hospital psychiatrist who put me back on Effexor (after they cold-turkeyed me off all my psych meds -- UGH), so we figured it would be safe to up the dose and just wait to see if we need to add anything else.

I just wanted to say how good it feels to have my feelings and my self-knowledge validated. I want to try to be better about that for people I respond to here. It pissed me off so bad every time somebody told me I just needed to stop sitting around moping, when I knew I was really having a recurrence. My pdoc and I have been together for over 7 years, so he knows me extremely well, plus he's trained to figure out the difference between situational and organic. I've just had it with "friends" who think they are doing me a favor by telling me I'm just feeling sorry for myself.

Thanks for letting me rant

Candy

[pegasus]

Candybear,

Some people just do not understand how difficult life can be for someone with depression.

You can't just "get over it already..."

Don't listen to those who don't know.

Sounds like you have a good pdoc there!

Thinking of you.

[wisewoman]

Candy, I have seen these charts that put a number by life stressers. Yours would be so way high. People are often afraid of feelings, especially pain. I am not. Please know that you have gone through and are going through hell. I hope you start feeling better.

[Azalysa]

You're one gutsy lady and I truly admire you. That "get over it" is obviously said by people who don't have to live with a depressive illlness. Even knowing that I still feel like giving them a lecture on "Mental Health 101" - and sometimes I do!! And I can talk forever so by the time I really get revved up, they are either somewhat educated on the matter or ~really~ wish they hadn't said anything...lol!

The psych meds possibly causing your health problems is scary. I've often wondered if all these meds I'm on is doing any harm to my body. Makes me want to go off all of them if (a) I wouldn't go into severe withdrawals and (b) not sure if I'd get as many depressive episodes with or without the meds.

I wish there was something to do to help the money situation...I'll send many, many prayers up for you if it's ok?

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

[(JD)]

Good for you! I don't use the word "just" very much... imo that's a red flag word to me... ppl who say "just" this or "just" that... often have no true understanding of what they speak!

Hope the med works quickly for you. Yes, it is good to be validated by someone we respect.

[EJ711]

Candybear,

Some people just do not understand how difficult life can be sometimes period.

Validation is such a wonderful gift.

EJ