[lori5780]

I am 32 just about but I still care about how my parents think of me. I am never good enough to please my parents. I am too fat, eat too much, I don't work enough, make enough money, am not independent enough, in therapy too much, etc.. My parents are never proud of me for anything and if they are, I would never know it. This all bothers me so.. much. I don't want it to. I don't want to care. I am so depressed right now. I wish I had supportive parents who can be proud of me, not embarrised or ashamed of me. Can anyone relate? Does anyone have parents like this?

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[Callmebj]

I think that is a tough situation, having immature parents without the gift of parenting skills is rough on a child no matter how old you are. I think what you believe about yourself is more important than the lack of support you get from others.

I hope you are none of the things they signal you are, and that you reach out an exceed their so-called expectations, just to show them what a good worthy person you are.

I had only one parent like that, and she was someone I escaped from as an early teen.

[lori5780]

I wish I did not need to be so dependent on my parents but I am. I depend on them financialy. Without them I would be homeless. I am grateful they help me but they hold that over my head. I just am depressed and wish I was not alive. I am not suicidal or going to do anything to myself but I am just tired of feeling how I do and dealing with my life.

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[Rohag]

Hello, Lori5780! I gained independence from my parents with difficulty and only by a bold leap. In hindsight, I believe one of my parents wanted me to be dependent upon them and so sabotaged my early steps toward personal independence.

It is possible to build defensive boundaries against family members with whom you have to live. You might search these topics:

• building and fortifying boundaries
• emotional insulation

Insofar as your parents' disapproval is a function of their own issues, you may not be able to gain their support no matter what you do. I wish you strength and success regardless.

[Callmebj]

Rohag has made a good point Lori in more ways than one. I think there was thought I would be there in their old age to take care of them. I made a bold leap too, joined the military. Changed my life for so much better.
Hugs to ya Lori, bj

[dazeofdolphins]

Originally Posted by lori5780

I am 32 just about but I still care about how my parents think of me. I am never good enough to please my parents. I am too fat, eat too much, I don't work enough, make enough money, am not independent enough, in therapy too much, etc.. My parents are never proud of me for anything and if they are, I would never know it. This all bothers me so.. much. I don't want it to. I don't want to care. I am so depressed right now. I wish I had supportive parents who can be proud of me, not embarrised or ashamed of me. Can anyone relate? Does anyone have parents like this?

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Have you thought of flipping the script on your parents and asking them directly to tell you 3 things they're proud of?

[lori5780]

I have not thought of asking my parents what their proud of of me bc I just don't feel comfortable doing that. Either they tell me or they show it or not. I don't think I should need to ask it.

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