Apathy

It keeps getting associated with depression, so I suppose it goes here.

Guys, I've lost my motivation. I can't be passionate about anything. I just don't care.

I'm normally very driven. It's gotten me into the highest classes at my school. But now I lack the drive to do my work. I can't help but procrastinate doing my work (no matter its difficulty), if I ever do it at all. I'm the sort of guy who normally loves school, but now all I do is go through the motions.

None of my hobbies, running and studying (mind and philosophy and politics) and writing, ever really do it for me. I didn't even get much of a buzz from social interaction. For example, that dance we had Saturday. An hour before the festivities ended, I was already bored and ready to leave.

I dunno. Everything seems so trivial, but I don't know what matters to compare stuff to.

But I intrinsically don't like this. I at least care about finding something to care about. Just one fact rousing enough to ear my devotion to some great purpose — does one exist? I can't find one.

If this is depression, it's not like what I thought it was. There's no despair, in the deepest sense, and nor are there any suicidal thoughts. Just aimless wandering and a constant sense of disappointment — of unbridled absurdity.

Hello, Prox!
Well said. Yes, you are definitely describing one of the ways depression can present.

So what do I dooooo?

I'll let you know when I figure it out. Tough time here also.

What to do to fix this really depends on YOU. We all have to search and search and find it. For most of us seeking help from others is the best way to do this. So you've started by coming here - how about reaching out some to friends, or maybe a therapist if you don't have one?

Also how about trying something new for fun in your life?

Prox, you think. You think about thinking. It is possible you may find at least consolation and perhaps even a solution for yourself in philosophy.

Apart from self-efforts, have you considered approaching a counselor or therapist?

Philosophy rocks. I'm an INTP, so ideas are my first love. But...meh. What a love. Philosophy doesn't have any standard answer to the problem of absurdity. The existentialists are good at pointing it out, but not necessarily at resolving it. All they do is use bad reasoning and appeal to emotion.

I'm a Junior in High School with a special sort of parents. I can't seek out 'therapy' without them thinking I am unhappy, and then that this unhappiness stems from this disagreement we have that I now pretend does not exist.

Besides, therapy costs money. I'm not a rich guy.

What if this is not depression. What if it is normal - hormonal, a natural stage in life where you question your position in the universe? What if you are testing your surroundings? What if you are simply looking for an answer you have not yet found? You would think that as a therapist, I would jump on the depression and therapy band-wagon but I also strongly believe in the normal process of growing up. High School is not always simple, even for those who are most intelligent. We all go through ups and downs and times when things appear meaningless. Find what is RIGHT about your situation and you will find your "answer". Lastly, if you do think there might be depression on board, you can find organizations that provide free sessions for a period of time. And, it is possible to seek therapy in privacy, even as a minor. Explore your options and feel free to continue to make use of PC.
dazeofdolphins

You are soooooo young, life is full of change and possibilities. You will be fine. In your case, DO NOT seek therapy or seek others to help you, it will only weaken you further.

You will do well if you learn now to cope with these feelings and conquer them on your own otherwise you will find yourself dependent on everyone and everything in life besides yourself to survive which never works. You are your own best friend and worst enemy.

Don't go down the path of therapy...find the strength to deal with things on your own. Why relinquish that power to anyone or anything else.

It will empower you. If you research others who have CONQUERED anxiety, depression, etc, they helped themselves. There are no magic pills or miracle doctors with a cure...you and only you have to do the work to succeed.

All the best.

Sometimes life is boring and learning to be still untill that passes can be a tough one.
You are young and intellegent. Please dont allow this boredom fester you must do your schoolwork in time.